Superman Stumbles

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Image by Peggy und Marco Lachmann-Anke from Pixabay

Kryptonite is the fictional element that renders Superman weak, helpless and incapable of using his superpowers. One tiny little atom of that stuff will take him to his knees.

I recently read a blog posting from the wonderfully gifted intuitive and delightfully entertaining, Radleigh Valentine, titled “Facing Your Kryptonite. (I obviously love the man.) Article  Radleigh writes that even we humans can have our own kryptonite to deal with.

I know I do and the article provided me with the opportunity to recognize and accept my kryptonite. From the time I was a baby, I was treated as an unwanted burden and I should be invisible. With all soul wounds, each time you encounter a situation that mimics the original wound you add another layer, much like that of an onion. The bigger the onion gets, the more it makes you cry if you try to remove the peel. However, you just need to learn how to cut it down to size.

Until very recently, and prompted by Radleigh’s article, I didn’t quite get why this issue continued to take me to my knees. I believe that the continual triggering of the wound is how the Universe gets your attention to deal with the matter. I also believe that it just might not be necessary to heal it right out of your life. Some things are there to serve a purpose.

We are human beings filled with the Light of the Universe. We are here to love and to learn by experiencing many things, and find our way back to our infinite connection with Spirit. Life is messy, busy and hectic and we, too often, wear ourselves out in our quest. We forget to ask our Guides and Spirit for help to make life more enjoyable and simpler. Maybe Spirit tosses a little kryptonite our way to render us helpless so we look up instead of down. Maybe these moments are the only way we can look within and see the beauty, the gifts, the talents and skills, the very light that is our superpower. I think that we wouldn’t ever see this if we didn’t have our kryptonite.

You may think this is a cruel joke played on us by Spirit. I assure you it is not. Spirit created us and doesn’t see any flaws within us. It is only our peanut brain that compares us to others. Spirit created us with many versions and varieties, because, well beige is boring. Spirit loves variety and thought you would too, but being human, we stupidly think it is bad. Spirit loves us no matter what, and so should we.

What is your kryptonite? Don’t know? Think about something or some persons that breaks you down, especially if it is a consistent pattern. What about it makes you feel bad? Do you find that you defend some part of you that gets disturbed by the pattern? Can you identify it? Patterns are the key. Maybe write it down and post it someplace where you can see it. Then write down what you believe to be your superpower. Put it next to your kryptonite and see how one can be in opposition to the other.

My kryptonite is feeling like an invisible, unwanted burden to others. My superpower is being kind, generous and thoughtful of others. These are in total opposition, but yet born out of the other, sort of like karma. My mission isn’t to rid myself of the kryptonite, rather to diffuse its strength by activating my superpower. Do you see now how that works?

Stumbled maybe, but not down for good.

Mercury Madness

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Image by NakNakNak from Pixabay

Mercury, that nimble-footed messenger planet, is dancing its way into retrograde on Halloween, October 31st. The third, and final, time this year, the little planet backs its way through the astrological sign of secretive Scorpio until November 20th. Make sure you check all the buttons, zippers, and seams on your Halloween costume, because this planet is known to – umm – rip things up.

Mercury has been doing this tri-annual dance for longer than we have known, which means you should know by now to protect your phone, computer, and take care with your words – both printed and spoken. The passionate and powerful sign of Scorpio excels at keeping secrets, and striking at a moment’s notice much like the creature form of the scorpion. With Mercury, people don’t always mean what they say so this is likely to be more pronounced during this cycle.

Best thing to do? Relax. And any other thing that starts with RE, or in going backwards. Re-think before doing, if you are plotting to cut your hair, get a tattoo or take up with an ex. Not an “Ex-cellent” time for anything new. If you are already in the midst of something, such as a contract or travel plans, prepare for some potential delays or mix-ups. Pack your necessities, and an extra pair of undies, in your carry-on bag, as well as all of your electronics and the power cords. Extra haggling over contracts might come up too, but if you are patient and review everything carefully, it could save you time, money and heartache in the long run.

And that Ex? Really?! Why did you split up in the first place? Forgot, didn’t you. Before you drunk-dial for a booty call, think back to those sexting messages – not addressed to you – that you found on their phone. And seriously, if you were down to the level of having to look at their phone, you better review your behavior patterns. Mercury’s little gift of communication and review might be a good time for you to look within and see what Scorpio inspired secrets you might be keeping from yourself. Repression is also a RE word, and one that would benefit you to seek out some professional counseling.

Mercury can bring crazy-making to the forefront. It is no fun to have your phone permanently crash while on vacation, as mine did in the blissful Caribbean. That little gift made me focus on my surroundings rather than check the weather report back home. (It still snowed.) The Blue Screen of Death on your computer could just be that it is old, slow, and out-of-date. Whether you get it repaired or invest in a new Big Dog (me, again), set up backup in the form of the Cloud, external hard drive or even flash drives to avoid losing all those precious photos.

Mercury madness happens for a reason, if only to get us to slow down and check in to see if we are still on our path or need to re-route in another direction. Be thankful it is only three times a year.

Sh*t For Brains

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Image by Free-Photos from Pixabay

Otherwise known as “stinkin’ thinkin’”. Have you noticed how easy it is to fall into negative, self-defeating patterns? This pattern of negativity has been showing up a lot lately in the inspirational sites I follow – that it is a pattern that we need to get free of. A pattern that is easy to get into, and not so easy to get out, given the preponderance of negativity around the world.

Hate-filled rants in social media, world leaders tossing taunts at each other like teenagers at the mall, road rage, mass shootings, gender inequality and the list goes on. When you get caught up in the muck, it then begins to fester in your internal wounds, filling them up like blisters on your soul.

How do you make it stop? “No be there”, as they say in martial arts. Well, that is damn hard to do when negativity surrounds you. Our very human flaw is not seeing the beauty and light within ourselves. We immediately allow the negativity to determine our worth. “Not good enough” is the catch-all phrase and we look to the outside at our circumstances and loved ones and pick out only the bad things that support our low self-view. We stop noticing the truly wonderful, loving and abundant things that surround us every day. Would the Universe have made you if you were so awful? Would the Universe gift you with necessities and abundance if you were so awful? Would the Universe not show up with loved ones and kind strangers if you were a complete sh*t?

Not likely, as the Universe can only give love.

Still, it takes strength and determination to pull yourself up out of the sh*tpile. Cry it out of you need to. Spill your guts to your dog; they’ll still love you and lick your face afterwards. Ask the Universe to help you, and It will. The Universe is incapable of saying No. Ask that your negative thoughts be cleared and replaced with positive ones. Ask for help in seeing the good things around you. Ask for help in releasing your old wounds that keep you stuck in a negative pattern. You still have to allow these changes, and you may have to take some action steps on your own, but things can change.

Flush the toilet in your head, drink some water to clear it out, and look up. Look up and say, “please help me stop this stinkin’ thinkin’”.

Ever Evolving

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Image by Gerd Altmann from Pixabay

Aging. There is a reason why it is a verb and not a noun. Or a journey rather than a destination. Some days I just blaze through them when I am focused on a task and not even notice that the time has passed.

Other days, I look in the mirror and think: WTF what is going on here?

Lately, I’m a bit obsessed with my wardrobe. I’ve always been a fashionista, with a tendency to make a statement with my clothing. I like edgy with leather moto jackets and studded boots. I like bohemian with flowy prints. I like color, texture and patterns. No one that knows me would call me beige.

What comes with aging, that is so mind-boggling, is the constant state of body change. All you women out there who have gone through menopause, know exactly what I’m talking about. There are a gazillion blog posts written on this very subject. Lots of WTF moments.

Change is inevitable, but I think it is difficult to accept what happens to your body. Your boobs get bigger and they droop. Your ass gets bigger and droops. And then there is this round thing that shows up around your waist like a Monday morning donut. WTF. It is not an easy task to get them corralled and back in shape.

A diet shouldn’t be a diet, but a lifestyle. Learn to love vegetables. Eat hormone free meat. Seriously? If it makes an animal get bigger, what do you think happens to you? Practice intermittent fasting, if nothing but to eliminate the digesting grumbles in the middle of the night. Take supplements because, yes, they really do work. Drink water with a chunk of lemon in it. It makes you pee, but you’ll notice the puffiness goes away.

Exercise. Walk. Take the stairs. Do weight-bearing repetitions several times a week. Even if it doesn’t do much for your shape, your bones and joints will love you. Having muscles will help you get out of bed in the morning, instead of just rolling over and hoping you don’t end up on the floor. Our muscles get weaker as we age, so you can counteract that by lifting weights.

Take care of your hair and skin. Nothing ages you faster than looking like you don’t give a sh*t. Gray hair looks awesome when it is well-cared for. Spending money on good hair products is worth it. Same thing with your skin. If you live in a dry climate, like I do, moisturizers are a must unless you like itching your way through winter. Coconut oil works quite well.

Keep up with your teeth. Brush, floss, see your dentist. Healthy teeth keep you healthier.

Breathe. Meditate. Get out in nature.

It will make it a lot easier to go back into your closet and throw out all the things you bought last year that no longer fit.

Festi-fall

IMG_0687Every now and then, my fashionista side says “let’s go play fashion shoot” and off we go to some interesting locale to get my vogue on.

September is nearly at its end, and the leaves are changing colors and floating to the earth. These last few days of warm weather herald a flurry of festivals; whether it is an outdoor concert or a romp through a pumpkin patch. Or for many, a chance to suck down a few gallons of beer at an Oktoberfest.

The beautiful colors of fall had me pulling on some festival worthy garments, such as this gorgeously embroidery tunic from Johnny Was, aptly named “Festival Tunic”. The pants are from Sundance and the 4-inch platform sandals are by Schutz. Although I wouldn’t recommend sauntering through a pumpkin patch in them. The happy hippy hat is from some shop in Estes Park.

IMG_0674Fall is such a lovely season. I think Mother Nature gives us all Her glory as a present before the frigid days of winter. Something to stick in our mind as we hunker down and nurture ourselves while She rebuilds herself for another season. And so should we. Getting out there in all my glory helps to remind me that whatever is hiding beneath those layers of clothes, like it or not, it is me and I can rebuild myself with all the intent and care as Mother Nature. Sometimes She, too, doesn’t look Her best, but with faith and knowingness comes another season to get Her festi-fall on.

And so will I.

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Do Forward

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Image by Michal Jarmoluk from Pixabay

You’ve heard the term “do over”. Typically it is combined with a lasting feeling of regret. Why would you beat yourself up if you did the best you could, with what you had, at the time you did it?

Whenever we have some goal we want to accomplish, or a continual way of doing something, we study, learn and practice with the intent to become better. Sometimes our goals include a competitive event or testing of some sort to determine our proficiency. And then the self-judgement sets in and we wish for a “do over”.

Why not look at it from a different perspective and consider it a “do forward”? Ditch the regrets, the shame, the sadness, even the anger and focus forward instead of backwards. Looking back keeps you stuck backwards. How can you envision your future if your gaze is on what you should have done? See each new moment as a brand new opportunity to stretch, to grow, to reach beyond what you though you could do. Why would you want to do over if you could do different?

Think about the movie “Ground Hog Day”, in which the character woke up over and over to the same day. Sure, it may have been an opportunity to do something different, but it was THE SAME DAY. The environment was never different and neither were the people. So by doing over, you never get the chance to experience something new.

Maybe the day you had your competitive event was crappy weather. Would you want a do over in that? No, you’d rather have better weather. Maybe you had a mild cold the day you took your test. Would you want a do over with a runny nose, or would you rather have good health?

By doing forward, you open yourself to new possibilities, a new environment, and the ability to bring a new you to your event. Imagine what you could do.

Innocent-ive

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Image by KDArtStudio from Pixabay

Innocent is the baby sister of the twins Blame and Shame. She sees that at the core of humanness is the pure divine light of creation. This light is the soul connection to Spirit, with the innocence of a baby. Within this pure light, there is no blame, no shame, just the love that we are created with.

Innocent knows that even though we are human with flaws and imperfections, her sisters want to make a big deal out of those bumps and blemishes. She continually reminds them that the only thing wrong is the tendency to hate themselves.

The anger and fear that we project on others is simply the avoidance of acknowledging and accepting our own imperfections. We turn these emotions inward as self-hatred instead of nurturing and loving the blemishes we carry. Perhaps you were unloved and unwanted as a child. This may have instilled a belief within you that something was wrong. Shame became your new best friend, because you couldn’t trust human friendship. Your misguided view of yourself manifested into outward traits of being unlovable. Maybe you were excessively shy and avoided people. Maybe you didn’t care for your physical appearance. Maybe you were defensive and belligerent. You unconsciously put yourself around people who treated you badly. Blame joined her sister and you had a way to fight back.

If this has been your pattern, it is time to look deep within yourself and recognize the beautiful innocent core of your being. Spirit would not have created you and made you human if you were not lovable. Sure, you may have flaws, but Spirit was not looking for perfection. Those flaws are there to grow your spirit in order to grow Spirit. Think about that for a moment. Spirit is all loving and all abundant so why would Spirit need a human? Obviously Spirit wants and needs your imperfections to become even more loving and abundant. How awesomely cool is that? Do you now understand how important you are to Spirit? Even Blame and Shame are important to Spirit, because without them there would be no reminder of their baby sister, Innocent.

That just gives you more Innocent-ive to love yourself.

The Twin Sisters – Blame & Shame

Reposted from October 21, 2017

You know them.  They lived across the alley behind you when you were a kid and their entire existence was devoted to making you feel bad.twins-1422162_640

Blame’s game (I rhymed!) was to make you point your bony little finger at every person that made you feel bad and make it all Their fault.  Shame’s claim to fame was name-calling.  Namely you.  You know the words: stupid, ugly, fat, skinny, short, slut, lazy, the list goes on.  And you are carrying that same sh*t with you today.  It is time to tell them b*tches to take a hike!

Blaming just keeps you tied to that person forever.  Everyone says to forgive.  You think you can’t.  There is nothing in forgiveness that says what that person did is acceptable.  Forgiveness is deciding that it is not worth your time to hold onto those feelings.  Do you really think they feel bad?  No.  They did not feel bad when they did whatever they did to you so why would that change?  Holding onto the blame is never going to change anything.  All it does it keep you from moving onto to better things.  It is time to let that sh*t go.  Imagine that you are holding a flaming sword.  Cut that string that ties you together.  Burn it.  And move on.

Shaming is just nasty words you say to yourself.  Why?  Don’t you know you are a wonderful, beautiful person?  The Creator put you here in human perfection.  The Creator ain’t no f*ck-up so why would you think You are?  You are worthy and deserving of a wonderful life.  Start by telling yourself that.  Look in the mirror and say: “I Am Total Awesome-ness”.  Don’t laugh.  YES.  YOU.  ARE.  By doing this every day, you train your brain to think this way.  And then you get an even better benefit – other people will recognize this and treat you like you treat yourself.  Bonus!

BTW, Blame and Shame left the country.

Put Me In, Coach

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Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay

“Centerfield” is a classic rock song by John Fogerty, released in 1985 about someone telling the coach that they were ready to play, and in center field. It’s that fighting spirit that all coaches want to see.

I know it is about baseball, which I’m not that interested in, but I often use sports analogies when I’m writing to demonstrate my meaning.

We know that a good coach can bring out the best in their athletes and lead them to a winning season. A good coach has passion, can read their players, can encourage them and most of all, know the game. They need to be able to teach the players the mechanics and techniques that work the best, but at the same time encourage them to go beyond. At times, they also must be tough, and not afraid to crawl all up in someone’s sh*t if they aren’t pulling their weight.

Coaches aren’t limited to sports. They can be those rah-rah people around you, cheering you on during life victories. There are also professional life coaches, with formulas for success, who lead seminars and write books for self-help people.

I am beginning to think of myself as a life coach. It wasn’t something I aspired to, as my passion was always about design. Coaching was more of a calling born out of dealing with my own life issues and learning. I can say I am passionate about spirituality and metaphysics, having studied them for over 40 years. I have taken classes for developing psychic abilities and healing. As I got older and realized that my early years were having an impact on my choices and behavior patterns, I knew I needed to do something about them. I went to talk therapists, psychics and energy healers. They made a difference, but ultimately, I knew that the changes had to come from within me. Since I learn best through reading and research, I delved into the world of self-help. I practiced the behavior modification techniques often recommended, and the best one for me was to call out my inner child and mother her in the way that she didn’t get. That shifted a whole lot of the baggage I carried.

I was so impacted by my changes that I wanted to share with others. Whenever I have (and still do) encounter someone having difficulties, I reach out with personal experiences and suggestions for making changes. (Not being a medical professional, I don’t diagnose or attempt to treat those with severe issues.) I often feel guilty afterwards; who am I to tell someone how to run their life? But I have learned, and done this myself, people will hear what they want to hear and ignore the rest. Thus, no offense given, and none taken.

I’m not ready to take the step into professional coach. I still carry doubts about “lecturing” people on how to manage their life. I’m also concerned about being overwhelmed by the demands, so I keep reminding myself to take baby steps. Writing this blog is a baby step. I can tackle an issue, make suggestions and put them out there for people to accept or not. If I’m using this as a training ground, then I realize that I’m not really telling anyone what to do, just making recommendations and how-tos for making life better. Sort of like showing someone with basic cable what they could get if they sign up for the 250+ package. Woo-hoo!, because the biggest win in life is living a good life.

If there is a topic you would like me to address, for the good of one and all, then please comment back.

Or just say “put me in, Coach, I’m ready to change!”.

I Wants It

barbecue-2098020_1920You remember Gollum from “Lord of the Rings”. An emaciated creature who craved an empowered gold ring. A craving so intense that nothing else mattered. I doubt that even a junkie would be that far gone.

Cravings are powerful. I’m sure you’ve experienced them in some form or another. Like OMG, nothing will do but you have to have a bag of chips before you die of starvation! Not likely, unless you are on “Naked and Afraid”, and even then they would rescue you before death.

If you are of average weight and maintain it, cravings are fairly normal. They typically signify unmet needs for fun, excitement or love. Basically, you are bored and food fills a hole. If you struggle with being overweight or are a chronic dieter, then food cravings and overeating signal unmet emotional needs. Overeating often springs from anxiety or depression. I am not a doctor, nor am I providing a diagnosis, but if you struggle with these issues please see a doctor or therapist. Life is too short, and you are missing out on too many good things so make your overall health a priority.

Real physical hunger comes on slowly and your stomach tells you it needs fuel. Emotional hunger swirls in your mind and triggers taste sensations in your mouth. Poor nutrition, blood sugar swings, alcohol and drugs mess with your brain chemicals – especially serotonin – and cause even more cravings. Give your body the proper fuel and in return, it will provide you with energy and feel-good chemicals so you want to get out and enjoy life. Good trade-off, I’m thinking.

Lately, I’ve noticed that I have been overeating. Nothing extreme, but I’m looking a little poochy. Ick. And not for anything in particular as that points to different needs, such as salty-crunchy for anxiety. So I decided I needed to look into my need for food.

Sometimes we overeat for simple reasons: obligation – someone brought cookies to work and you don’t want to hurt their feelings; not wasting – you ordered the food at a restaurant and don’t want to leave a full plate, although a doggie bag is always an option; taste – it’s damn good!; boredom – snacky foods give you something to do; true hunger – eat too fast and eat too much; tired – hoping it sparks energy. These are a few of the reasons we shovel in more than we need.

Well hmm, I think those are my reasons.

I’ve b*itched about my work plenty, but it is a long day from waking to coming home. I have plenty of responsibility that goes from all-out-balls-to-the-wall to sitting and waiting. Anyone that does accounting work understands those cycles. During the boring times, I eat. During the stressful times, I work through lunch, go home tired, eat to refuel and have a drink to unwind. The perfect combination to build tummy fat. Because of all that, I have set aside some activities that I would normally enjoy doing – like I don’t have the time and energy for them. I know, practice what you preach. Eating has become the new enjoyment. Therein lies the problem.

Using food as a replacement for getting your needs met is a bad idea, but instead of focusing on food as the enemy search for the root. Give yourself permission to have fun. Schedule some free time in your day, just for you, to do something you love. Practice self-care. Give your relationships some attention. Hug your friends. Get out in nature and soak up a little sun. Maybe do some energy work. The third chakra – Solar Plexus – is at the navel. It governs personal power, so it may be said that a little tummy fat protects your power. Maybe your personal boundaries need a little work. The second chakra – Sacral – is directly below and governs pleasure, emotions and addictions. A definite connection. If you sit at a desk all day, like me, then the two probably get squished into one muddled energetic glob.

Hmm. Addictions ending up in the stomach. Better get up and stretch, but not for another cookie.

I wants it. . .