Character

ethics-2991600_640I found a little saying in a magazine many years ago, clipped it, and pinned it to my bulletin board at work.

“Character – Be True to your Word, your Work and your Friends.”

fashion-3080181_640You can be a character, eccentric and colorful, or an actor in a movie, play or book.  I like to think I’m a little bit colorful.  But the other definition spoke to me more.

“The mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual.”  To me, this definition speaks of integrity whose definition is much the same.  Another simple way of saying this is “say what you mean and mean what you say.”

 

Character or integrity should be an important aspect of who we are.  If you are wishy-washy or evasive, people will lose trust in you.  Integrity is a favorable quality to have in your work, one that will get you recognition, promotions and possibly more money.  Having integrity will build character and that will earn respect.  You can be likeable and even lovable, but if you don’t have integrity you won’t get respect.

business-1869266_640Stand by your word.  Don’t be afraid to admit your mistakes – you will actually get more respect by being honest and truthful.  It also helps if you step up to the plate and take action to repair the damage, even if you have to ask for help.

If someone asks you to do something that compromises your integrity, say no.  If you know that what you are doing is legally, ethically and morally right, stand on that and follow through.  Saying no to someone’s demand that you do something in opposition to that, might momentarily get you in trouble, but ultimately you will be respected and recognized for doing the right thing.

God knows we have so many people with so few ethics, that you need to hold onto every little bit you have.

Because, really, the only person you really have to answer to is yourself.

 

 

Bon Voyage and Godspeed, Dear Kate

41OLqVyQ+iL._AC_US327_QL65_I, like many people, was shocked and saddened to hear about the passing of Kate Spade. Kate, as we know, was the brilliant mind behind cute, quirky and beautiful handbags, shoes, clothing and housewares. I own 2 pairs of shoes and 5 of her fabulous bags and would love to have a collection. I bet they will be hard to find now.

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What really saddens me is her method. The report is of suicide. Darling Kate, what could have been so awful in your life for this to happen? Most anything can be fixed or replaced with something better. The only thing that would warrant a suicide is a painful, terminal illness and even then, don’t go it alone. There are doctors to help with that sort of thing.

We see this played out often in daily life. Someone with mental illness, severe depression, addictions, or severe pain – all truly a crisis. But there is always help. We get too far mired down in our own muck and we somehow can’t believe that there is anyone out there who cares or will help. We have distanced ourselves with too much technology and social media and forget how to reach out and hold someone’s hand. We don’t talk – we text. I read that you can even have Alexa or somesuch read your child a bedtime story. WTF.

Mental illness typically has roots in a chemical imbalance in the brain. We know that there are plenty of chemicals out there to balance them. However, some of the most simple things can change your brain chemicals. And one of them is human touch. A hug. A hand to hold. Tears to share. Laughter to lighten up. A kiss goodnight. Even petting your cat or dog will stir up the good chemicals. Do YOU do any of these things? There is ALWAYS someone out there who will hold your hand when you most need it. A nurse in the hospital. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know them, the chemicals will activate. Human beings are not meant to be alone so don’t suffer alone. Find someone to talk to if you find yourself sinking into a dark place. There is always another path for you.

Rest In Peace, Kate Spade, and thank you for bringing something for us all to smile about.

Will & Grace

will-and-grace[1]I have never watched the show, but I don’t watch much TV.  So I don’t know much about it.  I am talking about your Will, as in your personal power and Grace, staying calm and cool under pressure.

In today’s crazy times, it is very easy to lose your cool and have a public meltdown. H*ll, we see it all the time on the news! Doesn’t mean that we all want to witness that, much less be the one who wails like a two-year-old.

Having a Will is healthy as it means that you have a sense of self and appropriate boundaries. Will helps you get up in the morning. Will gets you to the gym to do something about that beer gut. (Yes, you know it’s there.) Will gets you to survive and thrive. Will helps you write that novel.

man-1207675_640But the most important thing that Will does for you is getting you to stand up for yourself. You have a right to your beliefs. You have a right to your emotions. You have a right to be safe and cared for. Will doesn’t do this at the expense or pain of anyone or anything else. That’s Will’s black-sheep cousins, Coward and Narcissist.

When Will stands up for your beliefs, Will needs to invite Grace to the party. Grace acts with dignity. Grace remains calm, but stands firm. Grace has an inner badass. Grace does not screech and demand her way. Grace bends her Will to a Higher Power as she knows that something bigger is there to guide and protect her.

If you put Will & Grace on your team, you will walk through life being respected for honoring your needs with dignity. And some people will think you are a badass.

Let’s Talk Chakras – The Advent of the 12 Chakra System

12chakrasystem-web[1]12/21/2012 is known as the date that began a shift in Divine Energy. The Universe is simply tired of the old way of doing things. Mean people can’t hide in the shadows anymore. Greed, corruption, male domination, lack of empathy and compassion and many other negative patterns. . .I guess you could say it is the time to clean up the Seven Deadly Sins.

We live in volatile times. Shifting energy will do that. Think Spring on a grand scale. Just imagine what will blossom when we get through this. I doubt that our minds can even comprehend that right now.

Another shift in energy is with the chakra system in the body. If you have been following this series, you know that there are seven that exist within the body. There are a few minor ones that I haven’t written about: hands, feet and ears. They need equal attention as the others. Five additional new chakras are being awakened and they exist outside of your body. As they are still developing, I don’t know enough yet to write about them. However, the eighth chakra – The Higher Self – is the one we should be opening up to.

The Higher Self Chakra allows you to seek guidance from higher realms. Your Higher Self is the part of you that knows all about you and guides you to your best good. Expanding this will open you to spiritual channels that can take you to a more meaningful existence. Think Archangels and the Council of Light. They are the guardians of the planet, guiding us to peace and ensuring that we don’t blow the thing up. Good to know. Earth is an amazing incredible place, filled with endless possibilities for growth and spiritual development. We have no idea how important it is in the grand scheme of the Universe, which is why these Higher Beings are so involved.

Open your heart, allow your mind to expand with possibilities you can’t see, listen with your inner hearing to the Wise voices that can and will guide you to happiness and contentment. Don’t know what that sounds like? They speak very formal-like and calm, always starting with “We”. They will never, ever make you feel bad, scared, depressed, nervous or any other negative emotion. Their truth will resonate down in your gut in a way that you don’t understand, but just know without a doubt. If you listen to their guidance, your life will be smoother. Oh the sh*t you might be dealing with will still be there, but that guidance will help you get through it with confidence and composure. If you let them, they’ll even reduce the drama.  Wouldn’t that be nice!

So tune out, tap in and turn on the faucet of light that will fill you with the strength, courage, confidence and direction to move forward in your life. A meaningful existence will seek you out, giving you purpose and the desire to stay here as long as possible. You’ll improve your health without struggle. Relationships will be with like-minded people. You’ll have exactly what you need in your garden of life.

May Divine Light and Love be with you always.

Let’s Talk Chakras – Part Seven – The Crown Chakra

crown-2533113_640This is the seventh in a series about our energy body that consists of Chakras. Chakra means “wheel” or “vortex”. We each have seven of them located along the spine, from the base up to the crown of your head. There is an additional one located slightly above the top of your head. Chakras are funnel-shaped, spin in a clockwise circle, and you have one on the front of you that draws in energy and one on the back that gives out energy. It is beneficial to you to keep them spinning and have a balance of flow in and out.

The seventh chakra is located, appropriately, on the crown of your head. It vibrates to the color violet in the light spectrum. Physical issues are related to depression, fatigue and constantly feeling out of sorts.

The Crown Chakra connects you to Spirit. Here is where your beliefs reside concerning religion, spirituality, sense of purpose, divine guidance and trust in that which you cannot see. Your deeply held beliefs waging war with those that might be imposed upon you by others will cause you to feel aimless in your life. A general feeling of illness that simply won’t go away can be based in this inner conflict. Only you can determine what you believe in. If it simply doesn’t feel right down in your gut, then it is not for you. Going against someone else’s belief system that they have imposed upon you might feel like a fight you don’t want and might cause a permanent riff, but whose happiness is most important? Another person’s? Or yours? If you choose the path that is for your highest and best good, then Spirit will support you by giving you the direction to take. And your life will be immensely better.

Open your Crown Chakra and connect with Spirit. Listen to the guidance you receive and act upon the direction. Ask Spirit for help with the next step. Watch how your life beautifully unfolds. And thank Spirit for helping.  As this corresponds to the pinnacle of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs – self actualization – then contentment, feeling safe, feeling supported, and a sense of belonging bring peace to your life.  Which is what all of us really want anyway.  Namaste.

It is important to keep your chakras clean and spinning in a clockwise direction. A regular practice of meditation, with a focus on re-balancing your chakras, is the best method of keeping them healthy.

Let’s Talk Chakras – Part Five – The Throat Chakra

throat-2533108_640This is the fifth in a series about our energy body that consists of Chakras. Chakra means “wheel” or “vortex”. We each have seven of them located along the spine, from the base up to the crown of your head. There is an additional one located slightly above the top of your head. Chakras are funnel-shaped, spin in a clockwise circle, and you have one on the front of you that draws in energy and one on the back that gives out energy. It is beneficial to you to keep them spinning and have a balance of flow in and out.

The fifth chakra is located in your throat. It vibrates to the color blue in the light spectrum. Physical issues are related to throat and thyroid.

The Throat Chakra governs your ability to speak out – creatively, passionately, and emotionally. How often have you been emotionally troubled by something and unable to talk about it? Thyroid issues can help you identify your ability to speak your truth. Maybe you have creative or unusual ideas and feel that you are unable to express them. Getting to the root cause will not only unblock your chakra, but will help you speak the truth and connect to your personal power center in the third chakra. If you have creative ideas that you are unable to share vocally, perhaps try writing them on paper or even painting or coloring. Once you open your creative flow, you might be surprised at how you can use your voice to express them to others.

Maybe you have a difficult time saying no to demands upon your time. Practice saying “I can’t do that right now” to open your voice to the possibility of saying “no I won’t do that for you”. The more you do it, the easier it gets, and the better you will feel. You might even release your need for thyroid medication.

It is important to keep your chakras clean and spinning in a clockwise direction. A regular practice of meditation, with a focus on re-balancing your chakras, is the best method of keeping them healthy.

Let’s Talk Chakras – Part Three – The Solar Plexus Chakra

solar-2533097_640This is the third in a series about our energy body that consists of Chakras. Chakra means “wheel” or “vortex”. We each have seven of them located along the spine, from the base up to the crown of your head. There is an additional one located slightly above the top of your head. Chakras are funnel-shaped, spin in a clockwise circle, and you have one on the front of you that draws in energy and one on the back that gives out energy. It is beneficial to you to keep them spinning and have a balance of flow in and out.

The third chakra is located right at your navel. It vibrates to the color yellow in the light spectrum. A clear, functioning solar plexus chakra beams like sunshine, whereas, an unhealthy one is a pretty sickly shade with splotches of brown and black.

The solar plexus chakra issues are related to personal power. If your thoughts are focused on power and control, either of your own or others over you, then it is important to maintain the health of this chakra. The term “yellow-bellied coward” has its origins in the solar plexus chakra.

Lack of personal power can keep you stuck in your lower level chakras, which are “earth-grounded”. Shelter, safety, food, and physical needs all being resolved will help raise your vibration and give you a sense of personal power and control. This all relates to the first two levels of Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs and will help you move up to the third level of love and belongingness.

Lack of boundaries will stir up your gut, the physical center of the third chakra. How often do you find yourself becoming sick to your stomach when dealing with a difficult or toxic person? You might swell up like a balloon or develop ulcers if you don’t create healthy boundaries.

It is important to keep your chakras clean and spinning in a clockwise direction. A regular practice of meditation, with a focus on re-balancing your chakras, is the best method of keeping them healthy.

Bring Me A Higher Love

i-love-myself-417267_640Self-love can be difficult to attain. By design, we are flawed human beings learning to navigate through life and find what lurks within our soul. We, too often, waste a lot of unnecessary effort comparing ourselves to someone or something instead of accepting our humanness.

Being human is about learning after all.

What is self-love? Basically, I believe it is caring about and for yourself without any judgements. You are not like anyone else nor should you expect to be. Caring for yourself can take many forms: rest, nourishment, play, inquisitiveness, creativity, rewards, connections, just to name a few. When you feel bad, you are not caring for yourself. If someone else makes you feel bad, you are not caring for yourself. And I’m not talking about criminal activities or being an a$$hole. That is not caring for yourself either.

Many of us have been damaged during our childhood. Neglect, abuse, bullying, these can cause tremendous psychological damage and create a belief in low self-worth. It is often difficult to overcome these early mind-f*cks and believe that you are lovable.

The path to self-love is through a Higher path. Whatever your belief or religious system, find a way to connect to the Universe. All-encompassing, All-knowing and just plain unconditional loving, it is there you will find what true love for yourself means.

The Universe doesn’t care what you’ve experienced. It doesn’t care your color, gender, race or any other preference. After all, the Universe made you. You came from pure Love. You came here because the Universe wanted you. Doesn’t matter what your parents think. The Universe put you here as a pure, loving extension of Itself.

Wow. And all this time you thought you weren’t all that. In the mind of the Universe, You are everything.

Now tell me again why you don’t think you are lovable.

No Means No

say-no-3218695_640How often do you get talked out of your No response when someone asks you for something? Maybe it’s a cute little face begging for another cookie. Relatively harmless unless it’s right before dinner. Maybe it’s a friend enthusiastically convincing you that you should run one more mile with them to earn that margarita after.

Maybe it’s not so harmless when a coworker pleads with you to cover for them on Friday, for the 5th Friday in a row. Maybe it’s a family member asking for rent money, again, when you know they just went on a vacation in Tulum and the month before was because they bought a new car.

Maybe it’s worse, when a first date turns aggressive over pressure for sex. Or you are threatened with a firing if you don’t alter some important documents.

hand-155662_640The pressure to do something you don’t want to do can take many forms. People might try to make you think something is “good for you” or “your life will be better” or “you will help someone out”. If something causes discomfort or harm to your body, money or property you have the right to say No to any demands upon them. Your body belongs to you and you get to decide what to do with it. Not your spouse. Not your parents. Not your preacher. If your money or property is shared with others, you still have the right to say what should be done with your share.

We all have the free will to make choices. We are responsible for the choices we make,cyber-bullying-122156_640 but we are not responsible for the choices that others make. An underage child, perhaps, if they are under your care. My intent with the responsibility statement is that we are not fixers of someone else’s poor choices. No one should pressure, bully or threaten you to do something you don’t want to do. Bullies know who they can “get”. Don’t give them the opportunity – just don’t be there. You don’t have to be aggressive. Be a brick wall and stand firm. Seek help if you need someone to back you up.

The more you practice saying “No” to small things, the easier it is to say “No” to big things. People will learn you mean what you say and they won’t bother you anymore.

Except maybe for another cookie.

Tell Me Something Good

a-3308712_640Our local classic rock station just started a weekly segment by this same name. Their purpose was to dispel some of the negativity that is so pervasive everywhere. There is so much anger, hate, violence and just downright meanness that it is very difficult to come up with something good.

Has the entire planet gone bat-sh*t crazy?!

Nothing quite like the media to hype everything up, but it seems like the only thing we have to cheer us up is daffodils blooming. And we know how long those last. So many things are being revealed on a daily basis. Me Too, school shootings, missile attacks, child abuse and fatalities, homeless people, opioid crisis. . .when does it stop?

Think of it this way: evening rolls around and the sun dips below the horizon and it is nighttime. Dark. The darkness can feel like a very scary time to many people. I guess that is why we go to sleep. A time to rest and clear our minds. To let go of the difficulties of the day and dream of peaceful times. Nighttime is for healing. Your body knows how to rejuvenate itself. When we are rested, we wake up and usually the sun is coming up. We are back to light. The sun always comes up. The Light always returns. The sun shines, trees grow, flowers blossom, nature feeds itself and so do we.

These dark and difficult times are necessary. What if all those things we hear about had stayed hidden? And grew and grew. How awful could it become? Horrible things must be revealed so that they can be changed, fixed, healed and reborn into something new and better.

Can you imagine what the world will be like when people feel safe, sheltered, fed and cared for? How will you feel? What if you could send your children or grandchildren off to school and see the excitement in their faces instead of worry and fear? What if a bar of chocolate replaced opioids, kind of like chocolate frogs in Harry Potter? (and they didn’t make us fat) What if you could have Christmas packages sitting on your front porch until you got home?

christmas-2411764_640There are no easy answers to any of these questions. How can you answer “tell me something good”? By changing your focus. They say it takes fewer muscles to frown than it does to smile. Really?! Well, then bend over. You’ll get a head rush in the process so you’ll feel giddy. That will cause you to laugh and then you’ll think of something funny. Maybe when you bend over you’ll bust the seam on your pants and you’ll get the giggles. Then you’ll look in your closet and find one of those “Men”, as I’ve written of, and you’ll preen in the mirror a bit. Some killer shoes and the next thing you know you’ll be strutting out the door and off to do something. Someone will catch your smile and return it. Their day will be brightened and someone else will benefit. And it goes on and on like an amoeba. All because you blew out your pants.

It doesn’t take some big “thing” to change your focus from bad things to something good. It doesn’t cost money. It doesn’t take much time. It doesn’t hurt.

It just takes a smile. So tell me something good.