Waist Not, Want Not

belly-2354_1920Remember when a tiny waist was so important?  You would measure yourself daily and if there was a slight variation, you would starve yourself or do those twisty exercises or maybe just suck it in for the next week.  Once you are in the menopause-ing years, that tiny waist should be as forgotten as eight-track tapes.

I read a story once about maiden, mother and matron.  The maiden had a tiny waist to attract a really good husband, as a place for his hands to hold her.  The mother’s waist expanded so that when she held her child, the head was supported and placed for nurturing.  The matron’s waist was much thicker as to provide warmth and comfort on a cold night.  Hmmm.  Seems like our waist is only for the benefit of others.

Our middle section has been a focal point of our physical body since we discovered we had one.  Thick, thin, poochy, six-pack muscles, we spend more time on it than brushing our teeth.

Does your waistline trouble you?  Review your diet.  Do you need to clean up your eating habits?  Maybe go grain-free and check out the plan in “Wheat Belly” by William Davis M.D.  A ketogenic diet might work well so read “Fat for Fuel” by Joseph Mercola M.D.  If you have health issues, review them with your doctor.  It might be time to ditch the TV watching and go for a walk.  If you are physically impaired, roll your wheelchair down the sidewalk and experience the healthful benefits of fresh air and sunshine.

If you have taken the necessary steps to be your best self and your waistline still is not what you want, then it is time to accept this change.  Wrap your arms around your middle and give yourself a big hug.  That is what Loving Your Sh*t is all about.

Note: while the story about the waist was a cute fictional version, Maiden-Mother-Crone is considered the Triple Goddess in Neopaganism and often a woman’s power symbol in Celtic lore.  I also like to consider the waist area as symbolic of the third chakra – the solar plexus – as the area associated with personal power.  Claiming your personal and feminine power might actually strengthen and tighten up your waist.

It Starts In The Womb

Do you ever wonder sometimes why we believe certain things when there hasn’t been an event or specific reason for the belief? For example, you grew up in a poor household and believed that was just how it was even though there was evidence around you that showed otherwise? There are always possibilities to change your life if you believe such.

So why is this?

hands-2568594_1920Studies demonstrate that babies respond to and thrive more in relation to their mother’s speaking to them while they are still in the womb. A mother’s loving and adoring speech to her belly goes straight to the developing baby. Conversely, a mother’s internal thoughts also go straight to the baby.

Every new mama has worries. She might be afraid of doing something wrong during pregnancy and harming the baby. She might worry if she will be a good mommy. But she might also have deeper issues, like how can she/they afford another baby; she wanted to do more before becoming pregnant; she’s too young or too old; it has to be a boy or girl or her husband will be disappointed; or maybe she really never wanted a child at all.

The baby absorbs these thoughts too.dna-1811955_1920

Now this isn’t to cause more anxiety for any pregnant mama. You’ll just drive yourself nuts over every little thought. Just love, and care for, and nurture the little soul.

This is really geared to our adult souls and why we might have certain beliefs.

family-gathering-3068994_1920Many of our belief systems come to us generationally and are most likely absorbed while in the womb. Just because you have them, doesn’t mean you have to keep them if you find yourself constantly stuck in a state of behavior or lack. The first step is to figure out your limiting belief.

You can then do a process of release by “burning a soul contract”. Generational beliefs are often soul agreements. Take a sheet of paper and write “I release the contract where I vowed to remain poor [or whatever your belief is] in this lifetime. I release it mentally, emotionally, physically and energetically; now and in all directions of time. I release this belief.” Then burn the paper and flush the ashes down the toilet. How does it make you feel? Do you feel lighter, more free? Take another sheet of paper and write down what aspects of your belief you would like to change. Maybe it’s save more money. Maybe purchase a home or lease a nicer apartment. List action steps that you could make to achieve these things. As you write your list, you begin to open your mind to new possibilities and reform your belief system.

Almost as though you have remade yourself – In The Womb.

MotherFaker

Read that title twice, didn’t you?  It might be a Freudian slip. . .

maskA MotherFaker is a mother who gave birth, but only pretended to be a mother.  Many, many of us had one, a mother that just couldn’t quite give us the nurturing and love that we needed.  We grew up scarred because of it, drifting in and out of relationships, marriages, jobs, homes, friendships, whatever it was that we tried to suck a little bit of love out of.  We attracted those people and situations as a mirror of our selves.  Maybe you still struggle with this.  Maybe we will never get over that abandoned and unwanted feeling.

It is possible, if you are willing to do the work.

Everyone says to forgive.  Yes, I know that is a stupid statement and you do not feel like you can ever condone your mother’s actions.  That is not the point of forgiveness.  You only want to neutralize your feelings so you don’t leave this stuck inside of you.  Your mother was not capable of being a mother to you.  It is NOTHING about YOU.  Maybe she had difficult circumstances in her life that caused her to shut down.  Maybe she had a MotherFaker and that was all she knew.  IT WAS NOTHING ABOUT YOU.  You have to find a way to let go of holding onto the energy so you can move on with your life and live the best you possible.  Does it really benefit you to be pissed about this?  Is that ever going to change the situation?  No.  It happened.  Your mother was not capable of love, but YOU ARE.

sad childStart by loving yourself.  Nurture the little girl inside you in all the ways that you did not get.  You will be surprised how much that helps to let go of your pain.  Start simply by asking yourself what you need: am I hungry, tired, thirsty, have to pee?  Honor those needs and then you will be able to ask yourself how you feel.  Whenever you feel crabby and out-of-sorts, start there.  Children of MotherFakers always put Her needs first and denied themselves.  Stop the crazy-making train and tend to you first.  Get into that practice and you will be surprised how your life changes and how differently people treat you.

And then you no longer have to fake being happy.