So Shoe Me

IMG_0117I love shoes.  I’ve written about them many times, probably more than anything else.  I guess I can’t help it.  I just love them.

I probably have too many.  Big Deal.

No one is starving because of my obsession with shoes.  If anything, the person who makes them is likely feeding their family from the proceeds.  I would like to think I am helping the economy.

The economy is like energy, there has to be a give and take flow in order for it to work.  When you buy shoes, or food, or cars, or homes or even just a pack of gum you are contributing to the flow.  When you go to work and create or support or provide service you are contributing to the flow.money-2159310_1920

Not doing any of those things merely stops up the energy like a two-year-old tossing a plastic dinosaur into the toilet.  I suppose that, too, contributes since you have to call a plumber to come dig Dino from the sewer.  Plumbers eat well because of two-year-olds and toys.

If you take something without an exchange or create harm, you might have to pay a fine, go to jail, or get sued.  All of which also stop the flow of energy.

By keeping the energy flowing, you create room in your life for more abundance, prosperity, success and just plain joy.  Allow yourself to receive and it will be easier to give.

Or just go buy a pair of shoes so someone can have a nice dinner with their family.

Forever 21

Yes, I know it is a clothing store.  And No, I do not shop there.  Would I want to be 21 again?  Oh, Hell No!  Too much work, too much silliness, too much learning to do all over again.  Even if I knew then what I know now, I would not want a do-over.  I would not be the woman I am now if it were not for the stupidity of my younger self.  Stupidity might be too strong a word.

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 Twenty-one is a time for learning.  Twenty-one is a time to do crazy, but hopefully not detrimental, things with all the joy and exuberance of youth.  It is best at any age to try to act in a safe manner just so as not to leave this life too early.  But where would you be today if not for some drunken night with your besties?  I so do not miss those days.

 I think the only thing I miss about being 21 is just the physical aspect of it – not waking up stiff and sore, the strength and resilience of your body.  But would I do anything different physically if I had that body or would my wisdom tell me that I really do not need to be different?

 You cannot go back to your youth and you really should not dwell on those times.  Doing so causes you to miss out on all the beauty and wonder of the present moment.  Love the self you are now, love your body, love your wisdom and love your sh*t. 

 And do not try to replay those drunken nights.  It is bad for your skin.  And you will smell like the cat box.

Put Your Best Foot Forward

Recently, at work, the subject of dress code has surfaced again.  We have a new director, and he is getting his feet wet in all areas of the business.  After initiating the topic of shoes, he wisely turned the dress code idea over to a team of women.  Women police each other, after all.

59745-2001_CEREZA[1]Many a man, to his everlasting regret, has ventured in to the female shoe closet thinking to discuss the quantity, cost, necessity, appropriateness and style of female footwear.  Many of them wisely retreated when they notice the squinty eyeball staring back at them.  A brave few thought to continue the topic, and then determined that there is a fine line between brave and dumb.  Some hearty souls continued on, and were grateful that the living room sofa was a comfortable place to sleep.  And some were never heard from again.

The only men who can safely traverse the domain of the female shoe are those of a “different persuasion”, or the Great Oz of Shoes himself: Mr. Manolo Blahnik.  Should Mr. Blahnik ever appear in a woman’s shoe closet, especially if he were bearing gifts, she could succumb to a heart attack at that very moment and consider her life complete.

51g35jLUYvL._SX356_BO1,204,203,200_[1]Shoes represent the Holy Grail to women.  They are the ultimate form of self-expression.  We willingly spend thousands of dollars for coveted pairs, suffer untold agony and blisters for a few hours of wearing a spindly high needle for the praise of a friend or stranger.  Women have made new friends over a pair of shoes.

A beautiful pair of shoes can brighten a woman’s day.  Knowing that pain could come later, she will still step out proudly and with confidence that she can kick a$$.  An ugly pair. . .well, can make a woman feel ugly.  They are the equivalent of Superman’s kryptonite.  A necessity, if you will.

Oh and if you are available, Mr. Blahnik, my closet is open. . . size 7, if you please.

Bon Voyage and Godspeed, Dear Kate

41OLqVyQ+iL._AC_US327_QL65_I, like many people, was shocked and saddened to hear about the passing of Kate Spade. Kate, as we know, was the brilliant mind behind cute, quirky and beautiful handbags, shoes, clothing and housewares. I own 2 pairs of shoes and 5 of her fabulous bags and would love to have a collection. I bet they will be hard to find now.

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What really saddens me is her method. The report is of suicide. Darling Kate, what could have been so awful in your life for this to happen? Most anything can be fixed or replaced with something better. The only thing that would warrant a suicide is a painful, terminal illness and even then, don’t go it alone. There are doctors to help with that sort of thing.

We see this played out often in daily life. Someone with mental illness, severe depression, addictions, or severe pain – all truly a crisis. But there is always help. We get too far mired down in our own muck and we somehow can’t believe that there is anyone out there who cares or will help. We have distanced ourselves with too much technology and social media and forget how to reach out and hold someone’s hand. We don’t talk – we text. I read that you can even have Alexa or somesuch read your child a bedtime story. WTF.

Mental illness typically has roots in a chemical imbalance in the brain. We know that there are plenty of chemicals out there to balance them. However, some of the most simple things can change your brain chemicals. And one of them is human touch. A hug. A hand to hold. Tears to share. Laughter to lighten up. A kiss goodnight. Even petting your cat or dog will stir up the good chemicals. Do YOU do any of these things? There is ALWAYS someone out there who will hold your hand when you most need it. A nurse in the hospital. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know them, the chemicals will activate. Human beings are not meant to be alone so don’t suffer alone. Find someone to talk to if you find yourself sinking into a dark place. There is always another path for you.

Rest In Peace, Kate Spade, and thank you for bringing something for us all to smile about.

Splurge and Purge

Barcelona: Tourism And Daily Life As Independence Crisis DeepensZARA is coming to Denver! OMFG, I will be in so much trouble. If you know about ZARA, you will understand that statement. If not, Google it.

ZARA is a Spain-based retailer of affordable clothing. But I am talking gorgeous, well-made clothing. They have a number of designers on staff, so they can quickly turn out a big selection of off-the-rack styles. Their clothing is stylish, contemporary and most often unique. Don’t let the models fool you, anyone of any age can shop there. They have an online shopping site too. My recommendations: look for the embroidered and beaded jackets. People will think you are wearing Gucci. Ah, lovely.6895252505_2_1_1[1]

I could do my entire wardrobe in ZARA. Not only would that be pricey and impractical, but I wouldn’t do it. I have many non-ZARA items in my closet that I love and will cherish until they are threadbare. However, I feel it is healthy to, on occasion, rotate items out of your closet. Things that you don’t wear just take up space in your closet and prevent you from seeing the things you love. They create stuck, heavy energy that can drag upon you when you are choosing your outfit for the day.

Ever look in your closet and think you don’t have a thing to wear?

That’s stuck energy preventing you from moving forward. It’s time to clean that sh*t out and allow yourself to present the best you. You ought to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself.

The first step is to clear out the old. I recommend reading Mari Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. It is a very inspiring and useful method to clear out clutter and organize what you keep. It is kindly and practical and based upon “keep what you love”. You do that by holding the item and asking yourself if you love it. If you haven’t read it and want to, go to the Resource page on this blog and click the link. It will take you to Amazon and in just a few days you can have it in your hot little hands. Then you can start to change your life. It seriously works. I Kondo’d everything before we moved into our new house. Then did it again and I routinely go through my clothes and my house. I feel lighter every time. Plus I have room to buy something new. I know that sounds self-defeating, but life moves on and things change. Nothing lives forever and neither does that monster shoulder pad blazer you have from 1985. Although I miss the 80s.

If you want to live your best life, be brave and Purge so you can Splurge.

Me, My Selfie, and I

OMG, I can’t believe how good my hair looks today. I should’ve worn different earrings, they don’t really match my dress. My lipstick looks off. And. . . HHOOONNNKKKK!!!! Well sh*t, another double caramel macchiato ruined.

Didn’t your mother tell you to look both ways before you cross the street? To watch where you were going?

christmas-1871085_640The Selfie Obsession is overtaking the world. Preoccupation with looks, clothing, jewelry and location-location-location has nearly gotten many people injured or killed.

I remember as a teenager and young adult being overly concerned with how I looked. I believe that’s quite normal as you are developing a sense of who you are and who you want to be. Much of that includes how you appear to others. It might have been hours in front of the mirror, making sure every hair strand was where it was supposed to be and your makeup was perfect. Then a pile of discarded clothes as you picked the perfect outfit. I began sewing at a young age so I could have choices that I liked.

As you get older, you have less time to fuss and begin to develop an acceptance. Sometimes you would look in the mirror and think “f*ck” and go anyway. Those moments weren’t always the best choice when you figured out later in the day that white underwear wasn’t necessarily the right choice to wear under white pants.

mirror-1138098_640Since the creation of those magical cell phone cameras, preoccupation with appearance has morphed into obsessive levels. I’m not sure I understand it since I think I have taken one selfie in my life and promptly deleted it. I’m not that excited about close-up photos. I think selfies have gone way beyond checking your appearance or sharing a moment with friends. I heard on the news that it has now been termed “Selfitis”.IMG_0195

Let’s examine that word. “Self” meaning your essential being. “-itis” as related to inflammatory diseases. So does that mean you are an inflamed being? Are you a disease that needs to be treated? With what? Your cell phone camera?! I suppose it’s better than some drug. But why would you think there is something wrong with you? I’ve read that many people have such anxiety about how they look that they feel compelled to take a selfie. Don’t you know you are a beautiful human being?

Put your phone down, give yourself a big hug and smile. . .at everyone around you. They’ll smile back and then you won’t need a device to validate your loveliness.

The Men In My Closet

I know that sounds kinky. It’s not. Not even remotely. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I confess I have an attachment to fashion labels. Yes, shallow and easily swayed by a name. There is quite a crowd in my closet and I love them all. Tommy, Louis, Christian, Brian, Marc, Manolo, Franco, Michael and some I’m probably forgetting. Sorry guys. There are women there too – Kate, Cynthia, Miucci and Anna. But it seems that men are really good at creating beautiful things for women, especially shoes. I am thankful for this.

Why do women need Men In Their Closet? Yes, we know we have fourteen pairs of black shoes. Yes, we wear them all. It’s fun and it makes us feel good. When I put on a favorite outfit, I feel like I’m getting an upgrade. I smile. I stand taller. I start my day on happy

feet. A great outfit can actually turn a sh*tty day into something tolerable. Sure I look in the mirror, but why not? If. It. Makes. Me. Feel. Good. It. Is. A. Good. Thing. And if I feel good and am happy, then it radiates out to everyone around me and they feel good. Bonus!

Let’s hear it for the Boys!

Act Your Age

Photos Courtesy of Pixabay

How many times in your life have you heard this?  Add that to the prevailing attitude of retaining your youth and it is no wonder we don’t know how to act.

There are aspects to both of these that have truth.  To live your best life, you should adopt an attitude of joyful exuberance in whatever stage of life you are in.  Joyful exuberance is happiness and acceptance of self no matter your age.

Trouble comes when we get stuck on a particular number or phase in our life.  Have you ever noticed people, maybe you are one of them, who constantly talk about your teenage or college years as though that is all there is or will ever be?  I’m not a psychotherapist nor profess to be one.  These are things I have learned in my own healing journey or observed in others.  I believe that when we get stuck in a particular time frame of our life is the point where we have experienced some level of trauma or loss of self.

I once worked with a woman close in age to me, who constantly talked about her teenage years and her ex-husband/boyfriend-at-that-time.  Even her appearance reflected that of a teenager.  I especially noticed her liberal use of super-shiny, super-sticky lip gloss.  I use lip gloss, but her use was similar to that of young teens.  She rarely ever spoke of her present life, except to complain about her three children and all the troubles they were in.  She had her oldest child at nineteen and now that child was repeating the pattern.  She also went to school with her youngest child just to make sure the kid would go!  What trauma and life-changing event occurred in her teenage years that put a hold on her life growth?

Where do you find yourself stuck?  What time in your life seems all-encompassing and your last best years?  There is so much in your life that you are missing out on by keeping yourself stuck in the past.  Your present life is what is important as it is where you create your best future.  Stop being stuck.  Heal your past, make friends with it and put it behind you.  Find the self within you that you stopped being.  Reinvent who you are.  Adopt the attitude of joyful exuberance.

And act your age.  Whatever that is.

Noteworthy news: Older women being featured on style magazine covers is rapidly growing.  Check out some of these beauties: Maye Musk (Elon’s mommy); street style babes Lyn Slater and Sarah Jane Adams; former Playboy Bunny Dorrie Jacobsen; and the grande dame of all, Iris Apfel.  There are countless others being added to the influx of fabulous older women.  The fashion industry is finally taking note that beauty has no limits.  Rock on!

Resolutions or Revolution?

fireworks-2223570_1280It’s that time of the year when everyone starts to make New Year’s Resolutions. We set some goals or accomplishments and a completion date. Too often they are limited in purpose or too restricted in a period of time and end up being ditched by the end of February. Or maybe we just get too damned cold and sick of eating green salad, and dive into that plate of lasagna just to get some heat in our body. I know this part applies to those of us in the northern hemisphere, but I think winter is a pretty sh*tty time to make resolutions.

It seems to me that the very word: resolution, has a negative sound to it. I think “resolve”, as in I resolve to doing this. . .Thing. The dictionary’s definition of the verb is: settle or find a solution to. “Settle”??? Sounds damned depressing to me.

What about changing a resolution into something that gets you excited? Instead of the new year, why not start July 4th and make it a Revolution? Seems fitting for Americans who understand this holiday. The dictionary’s definition of the noun is: a dramatic and wide-reaching change in the way something works or is organized or in people’s ideas about it.

Now doesn’t that get you excited?  Wide-reaching change? Something like, “I’m gonna go all revolution on the crap I eat”.  I don’t know about you, but that sounds empowering. And it sounds like something that you could stick with and turn into a daily habit. When have you ever heard about a revolution that was over in a week? Those things usually go on for years and have affected great change. (I know, they are often destructive, but wouldn’t you like to go all destructive on your beer gut?)

“You say you want a revolution. . . “

I Am Not Beige Yet

Beige sounds so. . .drab.  Like walking into a newly built home in a suburban sprawl neighborhood and everything is the same color.  Did somebody just throw up?

I prefer Nude.  Sounds much sexier, don’t you think?  Nude stockings, nude heels, nude lingerie.  Like you are walking around naked, but covered.  Just not recommended for public appearances.

I have often noticed that when you are in a department store, you can always tell the section that they seem to dedicate to older women because everything is either beige or plum.  Now I love plum, but beige?  Is that so the older woman can blend into the house paint?  “We have this pant suit in Benjamin-f*cking-Moore Desert Sand, would you like to try it on?”  Now, no offense to Benjamin Moore, they brew up some fabulous paint in delicious colors.  They should make fabric too.

If your closet is filled to the brim with beige it might be time to weed it out.  Why are you trying to hide yourself?  Don’t you see a beautiful woman looking back at you in the mirror?  Love those wrinkles and gray hair.  Change them up if you are so inclined.  Hair color is really good and inexpensive – who says you can’t go blonde at 60?  Then march your blonde self right back into that department store and tell the snippy sales person that you want that pant suit in flaming red!