Thar She Blows!

mount-st-helens-164848_1920Many of us have been taught that “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.  At the same time, spewing nasty, foul, never-to-be-taken-back, words of hate is not the way to go either.  But like the pressure relief valve on a water heater, you have to let out some of the heat or you will blow up.  And like the water heater, you don’t want to become a missile and go through your roof, or at worst someone’s head.

If someone offends you or steps on your toes, holding back your comments does neither of you any good.  First, you just taught them that it is okay to be unkind to you.  Second, you just deposit resentment energy in your body.  And we all know what that does.  (Create dis-ease, if you didn’t know.)  You need to respond immediately and tell the person that you didn’t like what they said or did.  Screaming at the top of your lungs is not necessary, unless they physically hurt you, and then maybe you need to deck them in return.  Just kidding.  An eye for eye isn’t always the best strategy either.  Sometimes that gets you a free ticket to jail.  A very simple “please do not talk to me like that”, is often all that needs to be said.

It’s not always easy to respond quickly.  Sometimes we are caught off guard, with the “I can’t believe what I just heard” thought delay.  And then it seems like the moment is lost.  Sometimes a lifetime of being treated as though you don’t matter keeps your voice silent.  Resentment begins to build in your body like a water heater on full throttle.  It is times like that when you need to find a safe zone to let off some steam.  Some people do well with releasing anger through physical exercise.  Others need to vent to a friend.  Whatever is your preferred method, use it. 

When you release your anger, it subsides and you are able to look at the situation more clearly.  You will give yourself the opportunity to replay it in your mind and develop a new response to future situations.  Practice what you would say if it happens again.  If it is a situation or a person that can never be resolved, share your feelings with a trusted friend.  Venting is healthy.  Wallowing in it is not, because that is with the intention that you don’t want to resolve it in any way.  Venting releases the toxic anger that could cause you illness or erupt in harm to something or someone.

Heat-seeking missiles cause destruction and you don’t forever want to be known as a nuke.

You-nique

img_0628Cleaning up your stuff and your life is getting rid of what does not serve you or doesn’t make you feel good.  Cleaning up means allowing your authentic self to come out.  If you can’t be you, who will?

Living a good life means being yourself.

Some people say that they don’t know who they are.  Well, if you have done the clean up work then you know who you aren’t.  What you are left with helps to define you.  Living your life as a lie can cause deep suffering within your body.  Trying to conform to other’s ideals of who you should be can actually cause cancer and other life-threatening diseases.  Who wants that?  You can only live your life for yourself, because you must live within yourself.

Being authentic does not mean harming others or things.  It does not mean you get to be an a$$hole.  Being authentic is treasuring the uniqueness of you, the beautiful, spontaneous, quirky, creative, sparkly inner being that radiates with joy.  Now that’s what I’m talking about!

 

Maybe you think you are weird.  So?  What is wrong with weird?  A lot of people are and like weird.  Find them and buddy up.  Maybe you are very traditional and old-fashioned.  Nothing wrong with that either.  Lots of alike-you’s out there.  Spirit wants to grow so therefore, interesting, unusual and quirky people were created.  Spirit loves this.  I think Spirit has a giant paintbrush and a bucket of colors and has an absolute riot dashing them on the canvas of life.  Now isn’t that just a beautiful thought?

 

We just finished some of our decorating projects.  It was a joy for me, because I allowed my artistic side to come out.  I went for bold, with a little bit of quirky humor and that suits my Sweetie too.  It turned out fab, if I say so myself.  I’m sharing a few of the pics with the hopes that you’ll be inspired to allow your inner delight to come out.img_0629

You do you.

Love, Love Me Do

parrots-3427188_1920“You know I love you. . .” The Beatles, 1963.  Love is very important to our existence.  Whether it is from a spouse, partner, parent, child, friend or even your pet spider, everyone wants and needs to be loved.

We are all lovable children of the Creator.  Every single human being on this planet was created as a lovable, beautiful, miraculous person regardless of their path in life.  Every human is capable of giving, receiving, and deserving of love.  EVERYONE.

In the spirit of cleaning up your life, let’s look at romantic relationships.  Things need cleaning and maintenance to work properly, and so do relationships.  If you don’t put gas in your car, it won’t go anywhere.  If you don’t put time and energy into your relationship, then it might not go anywhere either.

Think of maintaining your relationship like a seesaw.  One person sits at the opposite end of the other, and facing each other.  You begin the movement of the seesaw, and it is a continuous back and forth movement to maintain a balanced load.  If one person forces the movement to stop, the other is basically left hanging in the air.  If they are the stronger person, they are in control.  Unless the one in the air jumps off.  A good seesaw partner contributes to the movement and maintains balance.

balance-2108025_1920How does your romantic relationship serve you?  Do you have a good seesaw partner?  Are you one?  Relationships are rarely the lust-filled, love-you-til-death with my every breath, as you read in paperback novels.  Like a seesaw, relationships have their ups and downs.  A good relationship is supporting and accepting.  No one deserves to be physically, emotionally or verbally abused. Ending a relationship is devastating in so many ways.  Aside from the emotional death you experience, many people are left financially strapped.  Children also suffer.  If you are in a bad relationship and are staying for your children, they experience as much of an emotional assault as they would if you left.  Too often, children become the battleground over which parents play out their non-maintained relationships.

Sometimes a little tending is all it takes to get a relationship back on track.  How about date night?  Busy life?  How about giving each other a half hour of uninterrupted attention each day?  No electronic devices; just face-to-face talking about your day or maybe your dreams.  If you can create together, you can do anything together.  Too tired for sex?  Snuggle up and go to sleep like that.  Simple touching will activate those feel-good chemicals and many little problems will just fade away.  Share all the chores, including children.  Have a joint bank account for the household and then each have a separate account for some spending money (with no justification).  These are the things that most people fight about.  Remember, two people came into the relationship, it takes two people to maintain it.

But most of all, just Love, Love Me Do.

Write Yourself A New Story

pencil-918449_1920If you have been following my posts, you will know that the focus has been on “out with the old, in with the new”.  If you have been following the suggestions, then you will have not only a clean garage, but a lighter heart.  If you did the soul-searching work, you probably landed on old soul wounds and possibly victim mentality.  It is time to re-write your victim’s story.

Let’s say you had a difficult childhood, or someone emotionally wounded you.  That sh*t can stick with you for life!  Too often, trauma of some sort leaves a deep soul wound that takes a long time to heal.  If you even go there at all.  It’s necessary, if you would like to break old patterns and have a happier life.

If you have experienced severe trauma, I highly recommend seeking professional help.  Even if your trauma wasn’t severe, you might be the type who prefers to work with professionals rather than doing it on your own.  I am not a doctor, but I have worked through childhood issues and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.  I utilized professional help and I did an enormous amount of work on my own.

Allow the feelings.  Write them down.  If you want, write a nasty letter to the person who harmed you and then burn the sucker (the letter, not the person).  Accept that you are human, that negative feelings are okay, and allow yourself to have them.  Just don’t wallow; that’s what we are trying to get rid of.

Now step back and pretend you are Spock from Star Trek.  Get all logical and look at the situation without feelings.  Was your interpretation of the event beyond how you felt?  If you were a child, did you maybe make up things about the event through the eyes of a child?  No judgement, just facts.  If this was a repeat of a previous event, are you adding an extra layer onto this event?  Can you put your perceptions aside to look at the event as it really occurred?  This is not to say you have made anything up; just that our perceptions can make things appear different.

Can you forgive yourself for being a participant in the event?  No, you may not have consciously chosen this, but too often we are too afraid to stop what is happening.  So the best thing to do is to hug yourself, forgive your younger self for being caught in the event and promise yourself that the adult-you will take care of you from now on.

Can you open yourself to the possibility that the event may have been to help your spiritual growth?  Let’s say your father abandoned your family when you were a child.  Your soul wound was that your father didn’t love you and it created the belief that no man would ever love or support you.  All your romantic relationships were with men who were emotionally unavailable and unsupportive of you, thus reinforcing the belief that no man would ever love you.  Let’s say in your last relationship, your partner had a blatant affair with another woman and it nearly wrecked you.  What if this was the Universe trying to get your attention?  That maybe this man did you a favor by making you feel so bad you felt compelled to do something about yourself?  To finally heal your soul wound that your father didn’t love you.

Can you write yourself a new story?

Like attracts like so your belief will bring only this type of man into your life.  When you change your belief to one that says You Are Lovable, then your outer world will reflect that.  When you begin to love yourself, and know that you are perfect in all ways, you will shine that out like a beacon.  You will attract similar people, who love themselves, and are capable of loving others.

So how does your story go?

If You Re-Build It, It Will Come


house-fire-1548280_1920“Field of Dreams”?  Sort of.  That was “if you build it, they will come”, referring to a baseball team showing up to play ball in the middle of an Iowan cornfield.  The theme of the movie being to believe in something even if you can’t see it.

I am going to expound on that theme a bit, by using a little astrology and the Denver Broncos as an example for your life.  WTF?  Yes, I know it’s a little weird.  Just beer with me [pun intended] and it will all make sense.

First, I hope you read my previous article “Get Junked” as that is where it starts.  The planetary energy is really pulsing with the need to get rid of old sh*t.  Not just things, but you need to clean up the rot in your brain and your heart.  If you are still living with the same old beliefs, judgements, habits, resentments, soured hopes and the like, cleaning out the garage is not going to make much difference because you’ll just fill it back up with the same old junk.  Clean up your sh*t inside and out and then fill it up with positive intentions and new ways of doing things or just plain living better.

 

Last night, January 5th, was a solar-new-moon eclipse in the sign of Capricorn.  Saturn, as we know, has been hanging out in its home sign of Capricorn for a while.  (and causing some people’s Saturn Return).  Saturn rules skin, nails, teeth and bones and ambitions and discipline.  You’ve heard the saying “get your teeth into it”.  Capricorn rules knees, joints, tendons and structures and systems.  A new moon represents new beginnings.  So you put that all together and that says “clean up your sh*t, ‘cause it’s time to start over with something new”.  Think you can just avoid it?  HAH!  They don’t call Saturn the taskmaster for nothing.  If you don’t clean it up, your foundations are going to crumble.

navy-fanmats-sports-rugs-17957-64_1000[1]Now let’s look at the Broncos to see how this, err, “plays out”.  (To note: Broncos were formed in 1960 and are also experiencing their Saturn Return.)  Two years ago, they won the Super Bowl.  The 2017 season involved a new coach, revolving door quarterbacks, and a struggling offense.  This season lost players one-by-one due to injuries.  Didn’t I just say that bones, joints, tendons and structures would be affected?  I say that because of these factors, the Broncos were up against a sh*tstorm of major proportions.

Astrology time again: Capricorn, an earth sign, is situated in the South Node which is all about releasing the past.  Capricorn is also known as the “daddy” sign.  Cancer, a water sign and known as “mommy” is situated in the North Node which is the point of growth.  Put earth and water together and what do you get, Mud.  Pretty darn easy to get stuck there, wouldn’t you say?  Like I said before, this combination is challenging you to look at all your old sh*t, in your head, in your heart and in your house.  Yes, that includes the garage.  Get rid of it, release it and build new foundations.  Your Daddy Capricorn and your Mommy Cancer are going to keep riding you’re a$$ until you do.

Back to the Broncos.  Everyone involved with or interested in them is stuck in Super Bowl land.  Who doesn’t want the championship?  But you have to strive for it and not just re-live it.  That means ditching outdated ideas, game plans, and even dead-a$$ed players and staff in order to bring new light and life into the locker room and the game.  No one wants to see people get fired.  No one wants to see favorite players get shipped out.  But like over-sized shoulder pads from the 80s, you have to let go of it in order to bring in something new.  (Although I think yoga pants are a poor replacement.)  It is called “moving forward”, folks, and if you want the Super Bowl for either your team or your life, you have to do it.

Planetary help is coming.  On January 21st, we have a lunar-full-moon eclipse in Leo.  Not to mention, it’s a Supermoon.  Only the best for us Leos.  Leo says “go BIG, or go home”.  By my calculations you have slightly more than two weeks to clean up your act, well at least your stuff.  But you can sure as hell start working on your belief systems.  Delete all those emails you saved from the lover that dumped you two years ago.  Get over it, already, there is someone waaay better for you.  Tell yourself you are lovable and beautiful, while you are looking in the mirror.  Cancel stupid subscriptions for things you never use and put the money in your savings account.  Build up your skills or finish your degree so you can get that job you want.  Remember, “Mommy” and “Daddy” are nagging at you.  Affirmations train your brain to believe something is real and that puts out a load of positive energy that affects your life in amazing ways.

And I bet if all the fans starting saying “the Broncos have a winning team”, the positive energy output will make them run the Patriots into the ground.  (I just had to get that in there.)

Is that garage clean yet?

Hindsight Gives You Further Vision

rear-view-mirror-835085_1920It is the end of another year and we are reminded to look back to see what the year brought us.  How do you feel about this past year?  Was it productive, crazy or blissfully mellow?  Or just an up and down roller-coaster of them all.  While it is not productive to dwell upon the past, looking back can help you see your future.

 

At times we need to look back even further and do a life review.  Now, no beating yourself up over this, just take a review.

Think over the difficulties you have experienced: situations, events, people.  These are the things that shaped you.  If you struggled through them and persevered, then you gained strength and wisdom.  If they are still kicking your a$$, then it is time to face your fears and accept that this is the hand you were dealt at the time but in no way is it the game.  Toss in those cards, take the loss and go find another game.  You get nowhere by staying at the table.

If you want to become a strong person and own your birthright, you must face challenging times.  You need personal power in order to achieve what your soul calls upon you to do.

Next, think over the times of success, achievement and what made you downright happy.  Again look at situations, events, and people.  What about these things caused you to feel good?  Was it love, delight, or completion of something?  What about this do you value most? 

Difficulties and delights contrast each other so you can focus on which ones bring you further along your path, and in your desires for your life.  Learning how to navigate through the difficulties gives you the motivation for achieving your desires.

Take some time to do a life review.  Look closely at the positive times and set intentions, and maybe goals, to increase them in your life.  Make an effort each day to include more positive thoughts or actions.  The more you focus on the positive, the more you bring into your life.

And then you don’t have to worry about silly new year’s resolutions, because you have already resolved them.  Happy New Year!

Saturn Ran Rings Around Me

saturn-67671_1920Saturn Return.  If you have read anything about astrology, you will know what that means and it might stir up dreadful feelings.  If you have heard of the 27 Club, you will also know what it means.  (The 27 Club is the group of musicians and others who didn’t make it past their 27th birthday.)

Saturn takes 27-29 years to move through the astrological signs.  It begins when you are born, and whatever sign it is in will set up challenges and opportunities for your life.  Saturn is the sign of structure.  It defines boundaries, responsibilities and commitments, but can also be limiting and restricting.  It is quite adept at revealing our weakest links.  But if you use Saturn’s transits, the rewards can be great as you can achieve your highest dreams.

When Saturn makes its returns in your sign, it can be tumultuous.  If you haven’t gotten your sh*t together by then, it will force you to do it.  Saturn is the ultimate taskmaster.  The first go-around is the call to leave adolescence behind and learn to support yourself.  Resisting that push will have you living in your parents’ basement and doing chores for an allowance.  Avoiding it altogether might get you dead.  If you can embrace it, you open doors to create the life of your dreams.  “Okay, Vanna, I’ll take Door #2, the one covered in gold.”

The second Saturn Return occurs between the ages of 57-60.  It can also be especially painful, as it is Life Review time and when your mortality becomes visible.  “Why are we even here?!” will scream loudly inside your head.  Unfulfilled dreams will roil inside your guts, demanding to be released.  Throw up or throw down the gauntlet and get them going.  Start small, make it big or make it little, just do something to settle your tummy or you might just wither away.  Sounds depressing.  Saturn can do that if you get fixated upon the negative or let other people dictate who you are.

 

 

Saturn was in Capricorn when I was born.  Capricorns are known for their work ethics.  They are responsible and practical.  My Sun Sign is Leo.  Leos are courageous, kind, generous and loyal.  You put those two together and you have someone who takes care of everything.  Yep, that’s me.  Saturn returned to Capricorn on December 19, 2017 and will remain there until March 21, 2020.  I am up to my eyeballs in Saturn’s rotation and it has kicked my a$$ this past year.  It hasn’t helped that most of the other planets went in and out of retrograde too.  Being it Capricorn, it has been all about work and responsibility.  While it has taken me down due to the nasty people I’ve dealt with, it also propelled me to complete an enormous amount of projects and new ways of doing things. 

It really does make you look at your mortality too, not that I feel I’ll check out anytime soon.  It’s more in how you have lived your life and what purpose that is.  I look at all the work and all the people I’ve taken care of and wonder “what for?”.  I just read a line in a novel that said something like “you have to go back to where you came from in order to understand where you are going.”  Hmm.  Of course, the first thing that came to mind was being unwanted and my mother’s treatment of me.  But as I relived some of that, my thoughts also were that it made me strong, resilient, and capable.  I could have wallowed in anger, became a sponge, and limited myself.  Instead, I went to college, worked my way up the work ladder, bought homes and cars and whatever else I needed.  I wouldn’t call myself wealthy, but I have a nice home, a lifestyle I enjoy, a good partner and the ability to retire.  I wouldn’t have that if I didn’t heed Saturn’s call.

Still, looking forward is intimidating.  I know that my path is to learn how to play.  It makes me anxious thinking about it.  Seriously?!  Yeah.  I’ve surrounded myself with things that encourage play, yet I so very rarely allow myself time to enjoy them.  That’s pretty sad, but I betcha there are a lot of you out there that could say the same thing.  But I’m taking it to task and I’m going to learn how to have fun instead of working to death.

Maybe I’ll play a little ring toss with Saturn.

Update: I just read on the news that Saturn is starting to lose its rings.  Getting a little taste of its own medicine?!

You’ll Believe It When You Say It

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Photo: Pexels

Affirmations.  You’ve heard the term quite often these days.  Repeatedly saying phrases to make yourself feel better, yet many of us don’t quite believe in them.  But words have power.  Did you know that affirmations are really just training your brain to new beliefs?  It’s like doing yoga to train your body to be more flexible.  When you first begin you think there is no way in hell you are ever going to bend like that.  You might even laugh when you can’t get your butt in the air for downward dog.  Just like you might laugh when you tell yourself that you are wealthy.

Like yoga, if you continue to practice it eventually gets easier.  You can do your downward dog with straight legs, instead of bent knees, and you can hold it for a minute or more.  (Until you get that crazy head rush from being upside down.)  When you keep speaking your affirmations, your brain absorbs the statement and begins giving you ideas about how to make the statement happen.

Maybe you have been stating “I am wealthy”.  You’ll get ideas on how to increase your wealth.  You’ll explore investments, open a savings account, seek a higher paying career, stop your daily Starbucks fix, whatever it means to you to be wealthy.

Affirmations should always begin with “I Am” or “I Have”, never with “I want”.  The Universe hears I Want and keeps you in a state of wanting.  I Am or I Have says you are already there so you will manifest it into a physical state.

You can put affirmations in a list.  For example: you are looking for a home and you have specific items that are important to you.  Write them all down and at the bottom of the list, write “this or something better”.  Fold the list and put it in a place you remember, but won’t look at every day.  Seeds grow faster if you don’t poke in the dirt.  Practice your other affirmations and watch your desires manifest into reality.

Saying is believing.

In The Hunt

cat-3750778_1920We are deep into football season and many teams are in the hunt to make the playoffs.  Most teams have players out of action due to injuries and trading continues throughout the season.  Everyone wants a piece of the trophy.

Throughout our lives, we strive for some trophy.  I could be a real trophy to designate the winner of a physical contest.  It could be metaphorical: the killer job, forever home, beautiful car, great kids or fabulous spouse.  Striving is motivation and carries through the journey of life.

Too often, striving for material things alone leaves us feeling empty or desirous of more.  When we don’t put purpose and soul satisfaction at the top of the list, the result is fleeting.  It is then we must reach deep into the soul and seek the meaning that sustains us.

How do you know what that is?

If there is something you simply must do on a consistent basis, then that is your calling and meaning.  I must create.  Art and beauty soothe my soul.  It can be any medium for me.  I don’t have to pick up a paintbrush or crayon to fulfill that need.  My work life consists of managing money, but even in that lies creativity.  It can be figuring out how to use the money in the best way possible or it can be designing my spreadsheets in a way that pleases my eye.  Creativity comes out in my home or in how I dress each day.  When I am unable to create, my soul weeps.  Depression sets in and life loses its meaning.

As I have previously written, I am in a bit of a funk.  I have limited my article postings and am presently taking a few days away from work to rest and rejuvenate.  I will take some time to just look within and listen to my heart.  To ask myself what I am missing and what I need to bring a happy state back to my soul.  I will work on the manuscript for my book about spirituality.  Exercise.  Right now I am listening to music.  I have been less than my happy self for a good portion of this year and I need to gain that back.

We should always be in the hunt for happiness.  Life is messy and sometimes it is hard to sustain, but our natural state is happiness.  The level can be different for each of us, but it is always there.

Unlike the Super Bowl, it is a trophy that can be had by all.

The Holy Grail

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Pixabay: bluebudgie

“You have chosen wisely.”  I am reminded of the scene in “Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade” (Lucasfilm Ltd, May 24, 1989) when Indy crawls into the cavern after surviving a series of challenges and encounters an immortal Knight Crusader.  He then watches the bad guy guzzle from a jewel-encrusted chalice and then shrivel to dust, while the aged Knight states that he had “chosen poorly”.  Indy picks a crudely-hewn mug, scoops up the Holy Water, guzzles it down and feels nothing, or so he thinks.  The Knight approves his choice and Indy goes on to save his father and gets the rest of the team out and on down the road.

The Holy Grail is said to have been the cup that Jesus the Christ drank from at the Last Supper and then later held his blood.  Arthurian literature imbues the cup with miraculous powers.  The term “holy grail” is often used to denote an elusive object or goal that is sought after for its great significance.  (Wikipedia)

Theology and legends aside, what if the Holy Grail and all the variations of its cups represents the choices in our lives?  If each one of us had a different set, number of, shape, size, contents or whatever to choose from for our own quest?  With the ultimate, and perhaps elusive, goal of returning to Spirit.

The cups might represent opportunities or challenges, and we could try any or all of them in our journey through life.  Would you choose wisely or poorly?  I’m sure we would all pick wisely if we knew what the cup held.  Would you automatically choose the glitzy, jewel-encrusted, gold goblet that could hold a gallon?  Or does the moldy looking mug with green slime boiling out of it intrigue you?

When you look at a cup do you view it as half full or half empty?  Do you always choose the ones with the crack?  Do you mix it up and pick a different one each time?  Do you fill your cup or do you suck down every last drop?  Does it taste sweet or sour and nasty?

Life is a quest, a journey through time and experiences.  It is your quest, with your choices.  And only you can decide if you have chosen wisely or poorly.