The Winners of the World

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Image by AxxLC from Pixabay

It is Sunday, which means football, which means that – once again – I am writing a football inspired article. Why? Well, I like watching the sport, but there is just so much inspiration to be found in such a hard-driven game.

There are, of course, winners and losers in each game and each season. There has to be; that’s why it is a competitive game. No one would watch otherwise.

What makes a Loser? And why would I start with that? Because it is too easy to talk about a Winner. A Loser can happen for various reasons. Not feeling good enough comes to mind first. A Winner can feel that way too, and so pushes themselves that much harder. That isn’t so bad, unless the endless quest pushes you into a nervous breakdown or serious injury. You can have an off day or feel ill, which could make you a Loser for that day. That could make you a Winner if you realize that sometimes you need to rest and recover instead of pushing yourself harder.

You could have a bad rapport with your mentor or coach, so you make a bad decision based upon bad direction. If you can adapt or resolve the situation, you become a Winner. Sometimes choosing to leave the situation altogether can be winning.

A true Winner knows how to change their circumstances through the power of choice. A Loser believes they have no choice. Not choosing at all is still a choice. Even if you are part of a team, and your team is experiencing a loss, you still have a choice to be a Winner. You played your best; you did your best work; you did something that made you feel good about yourself – makes you a Winner.

So get out there and kick some a$s, even if it is just your own.

Halloween Week 2

week2If you read my post Halloween Is Coming!, you will know that I love to transform my front yard into something entertaining. The theme for this season is “Woodstock, err Bonestock”.

The first week featured “Jimi Hend-Rex”. Well, on Thursday evening Jimi was singing “All Along the Watchtower” and just as he sang “the wind began to howl” a big gust blew in and Jimi took a stage dive. I think he may have O.D’d. Poor Jimi. R.I.P.

So today, a new lineup took the stage. “The Boo” have made a special appearance, however as just a 3 piece. Mr. Entwistle was unable to make it.

I hope you enjoy my Halloween fun just as much as I do. And stay tuned for Week 3.

Rock On!

Sandals to Snow Shoes in 24 Hours

It is 80 degrees in Colorado on October 8th. We are expecting 72 degrees tomorrow, and then, SNOW on Thursday. That four-letter word that turns the average nice person into a maniac when it first arrives in the fall.

Leaves have barely turned. Flowers are still pushing blooms out for our visual pleasure. Ghosts and goblins are appearing on front porches everywhere and Christmas trees are arriving in stores.

Fall seems to turn everyone inside out. Traditionally, it is the time of harvest when we reap the rewards of all that we have planted. Did you sow a fertile field this year? Whether it is farmland wheat or just the seeds of your dreams, now it the time to see if it all has grown to meet your desires.

I hope you planted something. Action steps towards your dreams or just a pretty daisy in a pot, there is life and hope and beauty in your life. When we cannot plant even a thought, we lose sight of where we are going. The journey is yours to design, not just be swept along by someone else’s tide. Or snowstorm.

I don’t look forward to the first snow, yet I can still see its beauty. It dampens down the harvest, cleans the air, and heralds in a time of rest. Away goes our fun sandals of summer, and out comes fuzzy boots and the warmth of a fire. Time to settle in and nurture ourselves, give thanks for another season of growth, and relax until it is time to plant new ideas or something of beauty.

Goodbye happy flip-flops, see you in the summer.

Halloween Is Coming!

IMG_20191006_151509616 (1)Halloween is my favorite holiday. Ever since I was a child, I have loved dressing in costumes. It is a moment in time when I get to be someone or something else. In the past few years, it has taken on a new life with decorating my front yard. Now we are the hit of the neighborhood.

I’ve changed the theme each year, and then reluctant to put my – err skeleton crew – away, they take on new life at Christmas. The first year was random scenes that changed weekly. My crew consists of 2 skeleton people, 1 dog, 2 cats, 1 chicken, 1 bird, a fish, a spider, 1 owl and a six-foot tall T-Rex. Some of them stay out all year – the owl for sure.

 

Last year’s theme was football, called “The Pumpkin Bowl”. The score ended Rex 10, Bones 6. It’s a little difficult to tackle a T-Rex. They all buddied up for a victory parade on Halloween.

IMG_20191006_151305952 (1)This year honors the 50th Anniversary of Woodstock, however in my yard it is Bonestock. First in the lineup is Jimi Hend-Rex. I think The Boo will show up in week 2. Beyond that, it is anyone’s guess. Or maybe I just like to keep everyone guessing.

And to all those legendary musicians who made Woodstock still going today, Rock On, and RIP to all those who have left us. Your music lives on.

The Twin Sisters – Blame & Shame

Reposted from October 21, 2017

You know them.  They lived across the alley behind you when you were a kid and their entire existence was devoted to making you feel bad.twins-1422162_640

Blame’s game (I rhymed!) was to make you point your bony little finger at every person that made you feel bad and make it all Their fault.  Shame’s claim to fame was name-calling.  Namely you.  You know the words: stupid, ugly, fat, skinny, short, slut, lazy, the list goes on.  And you are carrying that same sh*t with you today.  It is time to tell them b*tches to take a hike!

Blaming just keeps you tied to that person forever.  Everyone says to forgive.  You think you can’t.  There is nothing in forgiveness that says what that person did is acceptable.  Forgiveness is deciding that it is not worth your time to hold onto those feelings.  Do you really think they feel bad?  No.  They did not feel bad when they did whatever they did to you so why would that change?  Holding onto the blame is never going to change anything.  All it does it keep you from moving onto to better things.  It is time to let that sh*t go.  Imagine that you are holding a flaming sword.  Cut that string that ties you together.  Burn it.  And move on.

Shaming is just nasty words you say to yourself.  Why?  Don’t you know you are a wonderful, beautiful person?  The Creator put you here in human perfection.  The Creator ain’t no f*ck-up so why would you think You are?  You are worthy and deserving of a wonderful life.  Start by telling yourself that.  Look in the mirror and say: “I Am Total Awesome-ness”.  Don’t laugh.  YES.  YOU.  ARE.  By doing this every day, you train your brain to think this way.  And then you get an even better benefit – other people will recognize this and treat you like you treat yourself.  Bonus!

BTW, Blame and Shame left the country.

Put Me In, Coach

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Image by Keith Johnston from Pixabay

“Centerfield” is a classic rock song by John Fogerty, released in 1985 about someone telling the coach that they were ready to play, and in center field. It’s that fighting spirit that all coaches want to see.

I know it is about baseball, which I’m not that interested in, but I often use sports analogies when I’m writing to demonstrate my meaning.

We know that a good coach can bring out the best in their athletes and lead them to a winning season. A good coach has passion, can read their players, can encourage them and most of all, know the game. They need to be able to teach the players the mechanics and techniques that work the best, but at the same time encourage them to go beyond. At times, they also must be tough, and not afraid to crawl all up in someone’s sh*t if they aren’t pulling their weight.

Coaches aren’t limited to sports. They can be those rah-rah people around you, cheering you on during life victories. There are also professional life coaches, with formulas for success, who lead seminars and write books for self-help people.

I am beginning to think of myself as a life coach. It wasn’t something I aspired to, as my passion was always about design. Coaching was more of a calling born out of dealing with my own life issues and learning. I can say I am passionate about spirituality and metaphysics, having studied them for over 40 years. I have taken classes for developing psychic abilities and healing. As I got older and realized that my early years were having an impact on my choices and behavior patterns, I knew I needed to do something about them. I went to talk therapists, psychics and energy healers. They made a difference, but ultimately, I knew that the changes had to come from within me. Since I learn best through reading and research, I delved into the world of self-help. I practiced the behavior modification techniques often recommended, and the best one for me was to call out my inner child and mother her in the way that she didn’t get. That shifted a whole lot of the baggage I carried.

I was so impacted by my changes that I wanted to share with others. Whenever I have (and still do) encounter someone having difficulties, I reach out with personal experiences and suggestions for making changes. (Not being a medical professional, I don’t diagnose or attempt to treat those with severe issues.) I often feel guilty afterwards; who am I to tell someone how to run their life? But I have learned, and done this myself, people will hear what they want to hear and ignore the rest. Thus, no offense given, and none taken.

I’m not ready to take the step into professional coach. I still carry doubts about “lecturing” people on how to manage their life. I’m also concerned about being overwhelmed by the demands, so I keep reminding myself to take baby steps. Writing this blog is a baby step. I can tackle an issue, make suggestions and put them out there for people to accept or not. If I’m using this as a training ground, then I realize that I’m not really telling anyone what to do, just making recommendations and how-tos for making life better. Sort of like showing someone with basic cable what they could get if they sign up for the 250+ package. Woo-hoo!, because the biggest win in life is living a good life.

If there is a topic you would like me to address, for the good of one and all, then please comment back.

Or just say “put me in, Coach, I’m ready to change!”.

Breaking It

keyboard-393838_1920I’ve taken a short break from blogging. It wasn’t intentional, just too many things going on that kept me out of creative thinking. I don’t lament the time lost, because sometimes circumstances work in our favor to give us a break.

Taking a break from anything can be healthy. If it is physical exercise, you give your body a chance to rest and recover. If it is mental activity, such as studying or work logic, you give your brain a chance to reset and balance. Taking a creative break does the same thing from the opposite side.

A break is a temporary, short-time-frame rest. A long-term break may be a sign of something bigger like burnout. Lacking desire or interest in something could be that it truly is no longer relevant in your life, however, if the lack of desire or interest is widespread it can be a sign of depression.

Depression is a treatable disease. There are many resources and methods that are readily available. Don’t allow this to overcome your life when there is help.

A break can be as simple as a short nap. Taking a walk is a nice break when you have been sitting awhile. Reading a book, listening to music, playing with a pet or child, fixing a cup of tea or coffee, having a healthy snack and especially meditation are various forms of relaxation. The important thing is to do the opposite of what you have been doing.

Just don’t break anything.

Eight Legs A Week

spider-303580_1280I heard on the news that the annual tarantula migration has started in southeastern Colorado. Thousands (yep, THOUSANDS) of hairy, horny, 10-year-old, male gigantic spiders are marching their way into the state. They are cruising for chick spiders. That is just seriously gross. Like total arachna-geddon.

No, I will not be going to see them. Not now, not in this lifetime, not on this planet, not ever, ever, ever. Rather adamant about that, aren’t I. It’s rather easy to turn a spider into a tarantula, err, make a mountain out of a molehill. How often do you make a problem bigger than it is?

These days, the world moves fast. Technology is great, but we expect everything immediately. Demands grow, deadlines were yesterday, and anxiety rules the day. Eight days – ahem – scuttle faster than that arachnid after a mate.

The spider march serves to remind us that in nature, things take their time. The spider knows when it is time to make the trek, maybe his hairy little b*lls grow as a reminder. Do spiders even have them? And why do I care? Eww. They march on at their spider pace, blissfully unaware that some monster truck could mow down half their army in less than a minute. Less competition for the girls, I suppose. They know what they are after and they keep going. Somewhere in the grasslands, the ladies are lounging, waiting for these determined fellows. They do the tarantella (it is a dance!) and a few thousand eggs are laid. No, I’m not writing this while drunk. Spidies make me crazy.

The point that I’m attempting to make is that things will happen as they should and in their own time. We can turn them into a tarantula, freak out and f*ck things up unnecessarily. Take your time, breathe and don’t swat the bug. Everything will work out.

In eight days. More or less.

Did I just see a spider?! Aaackkk!

The Importance of Doing Nothing

window-view-1081788_1920Do this, do that, go here, pick up that, cook, clean, eat, wash and keeping running. Don’t you just wish you could have five damn minutes to yourself?

Why not?

We always think we need a day off, or a vacation, to take time to relax and recharge. And end up packing in so many activities we end up more tired than we started. So why not just give yourself a little treat every day.

Five minutes, is all.

Five minutes where you just sit and do absolutely nothing. No thinking, no checking your phone, no making lists or any other damn thing. Just sitting and breathing.

Oh sure, you say, my mind fills up with all the stuff I need to do. So. It will all still be there five minutes from now. Just try it. Put down your phone and sit. Well, set the timer on your phone if you need to, but then set it down. Now close your eyes and breathe. Let all those busy thoughts just scroll through your head like movie credits. Don’t focus on any one of them. Maybe focus on your breathing, in-out, in-out. You may even notice your heart rate slowing down. Ah, peace.

Try doing this at least once a day. Then do it when you are feeling the most stressed. You’ll find that your rapid thoughts will slow down and formulate into action steps. Whatever problem you were struggling with might get resolved.

All because instead of doing something, you did nothing. Feel better now?

Losing My Religion

golden-1321410_1280Uh-oh, she’s going to write about THAT?! Yes. I. Am. It shouldn’t be any more of a heated topic than, say, chili cheese fries. Neither of which are very appetizing.

I was raised in a religion-oriented household. We went to services, gave money and followed the doctrine. I dutifully went to religious education, which was much more about the rules than about God. When I got older, I asked “why can’t I just talk to God?” Then I really learned about not disobeying rules.

There is nothing wrong with rules in general, especially those about keeping us safe. Clean water, speed limits, fences and the like. Because some people wear their underwear too tight so they are pissy and crabby all day, and then shoot a couple of people standing next to them. And let’s face it, some people are just plain dumb.

Anyway, the religious rules I learned didn’t make sense to me. What does not eating meat on Friday have to do with God? I mean really, God made cows, so why shouldn’t we eat them? (Kid logic) So when I was about 15, I decided to learn about ALL the rules. I went to the local library, which thankfully had a vast variety of books on every subject, and buried myself in the religious stacks. I studied Buddhism, Judaism, Islam, Christianity, Taoism, Hinduism and so on. When I finished with that, Pagan, Wiccan, Shamans and more. Worked my way through metaphysical studies. That was a lot books. Do you know what I discovered?

Almost every one of them was a bunch of rules written by (mostly) men in silly outfits that dictated when, where and what to believe in, and very little about a non-human supreme being.

People get all worked up about this. Okay, but why is that any different than say, the NFL? That’s a bunch of rules written by men in silly outfits that dictate when, where and what to believe in. And may I remind you that most of the games are played on Sunday. How many times have you or someone you know says “I pray to God that the [team name] win today!” The same could be said about government, the food industry, every sports franchise, and your job. We’ve turned something that matters into power and control, and have totally forgotten the real purpose which is to have meaning in our life.

Religion is bigger than rules. It is bigger than silly outfits. It is bigger than beef or pork. It is bigger than we can imagine. So how did we f*ck this up so badly?

Power and control are all based in fear, primarily the perceived loss of something from someone else’s doing. We fear being abandoned. We fear being poor or without resources. We fear pain and harm. We fear not being loved. Deeper than that is the fear of abandonment. Abandonment fears come with being human. As soon as we were born, separation from God occurred. And now we make up rules and sh*t to find our way back; before someone else gets there first.

That is not the God I know.

I refer to God-and-all-the-other-names as The Universe. For me, this is a massive energy source larger than we can imagine. There is no specific name, no gender, no race, no color, no language barrier and most of all no destruction and lightning bolts. The (God) Universe that I believe in is absolutely pure and loving of us no matter what we do. I think the Universe is just so damn happy that we agreed to be human in order to learn what physical existence is all about, and certainly has no plans to wipe us out. What would be gained by that? Just because we can act like idiots and shoot each other or wipe out rain forests and other dumb things, doesn’t mean that the Universe is angry.

Yes, you can talk to the Universe directly without some dork in a silly outfit running interference. The Universe is delighted when you start the day with “good morning” and express gratitude for something. The Universe gets really excited if you say “I’m having a rough day, will you help me?” And Oh MY, does the help arrive. In ways that you, with your pea brain, can’t even dream up, especially when you don’t dictate how you want that help.

I agree that religion can be a good thing for people. Some really do like the silly rituals and fish on Fridays. Some like gathering together in a beautiful building. Just remember that the most important thing of all is your direct connection with the Universe, because if someone tells you that’s not allowed then you better be losing your religion.