Love Is All Around Us

hug-2702900_1280Tomorrow, February 14th, is Valentine’s Day, another retail gold mine involving chocolates, roses, teddy bears, more chocolate and occasionally something sparkly.  A time when we declare our love for someone through gifting.  Nothing wrong with that, gifting is always about expressing our love and appreciation with material items.  A gift, like our love, is with the intent of lasting value.

But for many people, tomorrow is Thursday, just another Thursday in a long list of Thursdays.  That is not meant to be sad, either, some people just don’t care about V-Day.  Some people don’t have a romantic partner and don’t care about that either.  But for those that don’t have one and do care, tomorrow can be a difficult reminder of the single state.  It is during those times, that one must remember that love can come in many forms and from many places.

We were created out of love and joy, not just from our birth parents, but from the Creator.  No matter your upbringing, environment, personal characteristics or anything about you, you are loved and you are lovable.

Have you ever reached down to pet a puppy?  Unconditional love and joy bounces up and licks your fingers.  Or waved at a baby in a stroller in the grocery store.  Their little eyes focus on you, sparkling a little as the hint of a grin curves their lips.  A hug from a friend you haven’t seen in a long while.  I could keep going with a list of every molecule of love that surrounds you, but I don’t have that much time to write and the file would be too big to upload.  That’s a lot of LOVE!

But the biggest love of all, is the love you feel for yourself.  When you love yourself, accepting all your warts and faults and farts, you will never do without love in your life.  You are lovable so there is no way you can’t not love yourself.  Got that?

Love is not just all around you, it is eternally within you.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Thar She Blows!

mount-st-helens-164848_1920Many of us have been taught that “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”.  At the same time, spewing nasty, foul, never-to-be-taken-back, words of hate is not the way to go either.  But like the pressure relief valve on a water heater, you have to let out some of the heat or you will blow up.  And like the water heater, you don’t want to become a missile and go through your roof, or at worst someone’s head.

If someone offends you or steps on your toes, holding back your comments does neither of you any good.  First, you just taught them that it is okay to be unkind to you.  Second, you just deposit resentment energy in your body.  And we all know what that does.  (Create dis-ease, if you didn’t know.)  You need to respond immediately and tell the person that you didn’t like what they said or did.  Screaming at the top of your lungs is not necessary, unless they physically hurt you, and then maybe you need to deck them in return.  Just kidding.  An eye for eye isn’t always the best strategy either.  Sometimes that gets you a free ticket to jail.  A very simple “please do not talk to me like that”, is often all that needs to be said.

It’s not always easy to respond quickly.  Sometimes we are caught off guard, with the “I can’t believe what I just heard” thought delay.  And then it seems like the moment is lost.  Sometimes a lifetime of being treated as though you don’t matter keeps your voice silent.  Resentment begins to build in your body like a water heater on full throttle.  It is times like that when you need to find a safe zone to let off some steam.  Some people do well with releasing anger through physical exercise.  Others need to vent to a friend.  Whatever is your preferred method, use it. 

When you release your anger, it subsides and you are able to look at the situation more clearly.  You will give yourself the opportunity to replay it in your mind and develop a new response to future situations.  Practice what you would say if it happens again.  If it is a situation or a person that can never be resolved, share your feelings with a trusted friend.  Venting is healthy.  Wallowing in it is not, because that is with the intention that you don’t want to resolve it in any way.  Venting releases the toxic anger that could cause you illness or erupt in harm to something or someone.

Heat-seeking missiles cause destruction and you don’t forever want to be known as a nuke.

Love, Love Me Do

parrots-3427188_1920“You know I love you. . .” The Beatles, 1963.  Love is very important to our existence.  Whether it is from a spouse, partner, parent, child, friend or even your pet spider, everyone wants and needs to be loved.

We are all lovable children of the Creator.  Every single human being on this planet was created as a lovable, beautiful, miraculous person regardless of their path in life.  Every human is capable of giving, receiving, and deserving of love.  EVERYONE.

In the spirit of cleaning up your life, let’s look at romantic relationships.  Things need cleaning and maintenance to work properly, and so do relationships.  If you don’t put gas in your car, it won’t go anywhere.  If you don’t put time and energy into your relationship, then it might not go anywhere either.

Think of maintaining your relationship like a seesaw.  One person sits at the opposite end of the other, and facing each other.  You begin the movement of the seesaw, and it is a continuous back and forth movement to maintain a balanced load.  If one person forces the movement to stop, the other is basically left hanging in the air.  If they are the stronger person, they are in control.  Unless the one in the air jumps off.  A good seesaw partner contributes to the movement and maintains balance.

balance-2108025_1920How does your romantic relationship serve you?  Do you have a good seesaw partner?  Are you one?  Relationships are rarely the lust-filled, love-you-til-death with my every breath, as you read in paperback novels.  Like a seesaw, relationships have their ups and downs.  A good relationship is supporting and accepting.  No one deserves to be physically, emotionally or verbally abused. Ending a relationship is devastating in so many ways.  Aside from the emotional death you experience, many people are left financially strapped.  Children also suffer.  If you are in a bad relationship and are staying for your children, they experience as much of an emotional assault as they would if you left.  Too often, children become the battleground over which parents play out their non-maintained relationships.

Sometimes a little tending is all it takes to get a relationship back on track.  How about date night?  Busy life?  How about giving each other a half hour of uninterrupted attention each day?  No electronic devices; just face-to-face talking about your day or maybe your dreams.  If you can create together, you can do anything together.  Too tired for sex?  Snuggle up and go to sleep like that.  Simple touching will activate those feel-good chemicals and many little problems will just fade away.  Share all the chores, including children.  Have a joint bank account for the household and then each have a separate account for some spending money (with no justification).  These are the things that most people fight about.  Remember, two people came into the relationship, it takes two people to maintain it.

But most of all, just Love, Love Me Do.

You’re Fired . . . Up

kitchen-731351_1920A certain someone made the phrase “you’re fired” a common buzzword.  You should choose your words wisely, lest Karma bite you in the a$$.

How do you feel about your job?  Are you on the verge of being fired or are you fired up and ready to get to it?

Continuing with the “clean it up” theme, take a good long look at your career choice.  Do you earn a bunch of money?  High earnings are great, but if you hate what you are doing, then you’ll need lots of that money to pay for therapy.

Job satisfaction seems to be the number one value in the working world.  High wages, good fringe benefits and work-life balance are important, but there is nothing quite like the feeling you get from doing what you love and doing meaningful work.  If you can combine an activity that you are passionate about with getting paid for it, then you have the pieces you need to be successful and content.

Sometimes people don’t want to turn their hobby into a business.  Nothing wrong with that, sometimes the passion continues at a higher level when it stays as a hobby.  Being self-employed takes discipline and dedication to fulfill your needs.

Feel like you are underemployed?  Can you get training, either on-the-job or externally, from your employer?  Many employers will fund education with a time commitment from the employee to stay beyond the completion date.

Hate your job altogether?  Shine up your resume and get your feet on the pavement.  Unemployment is low and employers are looking to hire qualified people.  A new atmosphere might be exactly what you need to spark joy in your working life.

You deserve meaningful work.  You deserve to be successful and prosperous.  Focus on what matters and get fired up to make a difference.

Un-Friendly

adult-3702076_1920Continuing with the “clean it up” theme, it is time to look at your relationships – namely friendships.  Hopefully by now, you have cleaned up your possessions and did some internal releasing of negative beliefs.  If you want your life to keep moving in a positive direction, you will also need to evaluate who you are hanging out with.

Good friendships have a give-and-take balance.

Are you the go-to person for everything?  Nothing wrong with that, if it pleases you, and you aren’t doing all the work.  Do you have a friend who calls you all the time to complain about whatever, but isn’t there when you need to chat?  You might want to reconsider answering the phone.

What about the friend who always wants to go to lunch, but you are stuck with the tab?  Or they come to your house for dinner and never bring anything.  Better to eat alone then be someone else’s pantry.

Maybe it’s the fun, but crazy friend who always calls you to go clubbing.  Yet, their drunken antics cause you no end of embarrassment and may have almost gotten you arrested.

How about the one who always delivers back-handed compliments?  “That’s a great color on you, but pants are so much more slimming than that pencil skirt.”  And then you see her the next day in the skirt you didn’t buy.

Why do you need these toxic people in your life?  You, the kind-hearted person who’s always there with a ready ear or hot bowl of soup.  Ditch the b*tch and open your heart to the wonderful, fun, nice and reciprocal people who are out there.

You deserve someone who supports you.  You deserve someone who cares about you.  You deserve friends who are like you.

Because, you are not unfriendly.

Write Yourself A New Story

pencil-918449_1920If you have been following my posts, you will know that the focus has been on “out with the old, in with the new”.  If you have been following the suggestions, then you will have not only a clean garage, but a lighter heart.  If you did the soul-searching work, you probably landed on old soul wounds and possibly victim mentality.  It is time to re-write your victim’s story.

Let’s say you had a difficult childhood, or someone emotionally wounded you.  That sh*t can stick with you for life!  Too often, trauma of some sort leaves a deep soul wound that takes a long time to heal.  If you even go there at all.  It’s necessary, if you would like to break old patterns and have a happier life.

If you have experienced severe trauma, I highly recommend seeking professional help.  Even if your trauma wasn’t severe, you might be the type who prefers to work with professionals rather than doing it on your own.  I am not a doctor, but I have worked through childhood issues and it is the best thing I have ever done for myself.  I utilized professional help and I did an enormous amount of work on my own.

Allow the feelings.  Write them down.  If you want, write a nasty letter to the person who harmed you and then burn the sucker (the letter, not the person).  Accept that you are human, that negative feelings are okay, and allow yourself to have them.  Just don’t wallow; that’s what we are trying to get rid of.

Now step back and pretend you are Spock from Star Trek.  Get all logical and look at the situation without feelings.  Was your interpretation of the event beyond how you felt?  If you were a child, did you maybe make up things about the event through the eyes of a child?  No judgement, just facts.  If this was a repeat of a previous event, are you adding an extra layer onto this event?  Can you put your perceptions aside to look at the event as it really occurred?  This is not to say you have made anything up; just that our perceptions can make things appear different.

Can you forgive yourself for being a participant in the event?  No, you may not have consciously chosen this, but too often we are too afraid to stop what is happening.  So the best thing to do is to hug yourself, forgive your younger self for being caught in the event and promise yourself that the adult-you will take care of you from now on.

Can you open yourself to the possibility that the event may have been to help your spiritual growth?  Let’s say your father abandoned your family when you were a child.  Your soul wound was that your father didn’t love you and it created the belief that no man would ever love or support you.  All your romantic relationships were with men who were emotionally unavailable and unsupportive of you, thus reinforcing the belief that no man would ever love you.  Let’s say in your last relationship, your partner had a blatant affair with another woman and it nearly wrecked you.  What if this was the Universe trying to get your attention?  That maybe this man did you a favor by making you feel so bad you felt compelled to do something about yourself?  To finally heal your soul wound that your father didn’t love you.

Can you write yourself a new story?

Like attracts like so your belief will bring only this type of man into your life.  When you change your belief to one that says You Are Lovable, then your outer world will reflect that.  When you begin to love yourself, and know that you are perfect in all ways, you will shine that out like a beacon.  You will attract similar people, who love themselves, and are capable of loving others.

So how does your story go?

If You Re-Build It, It Will Come


house-fire-1548280_1920“Field of Dreams”?  Sort of.  That was “if you build it, they will come”, referring to a baseball team showing up to play ball in the middle of an Iowan cornfield.  The theme of the movie being to believe in something even if you can’t see it.

I am going to expound on that theme a bit, by using a little astrology and the Denver Broncos as an example for your life.  WTF?  Yes, I know it’s a little weird.  Just beer with me [pun intended] and it will all make sense.

First, I hope you read my previous article “Get Junked” as that is where it starts.  The planetary energy is really pulsing with the need to get rid of old sh*t.  Not just things, but you need to clean up the rot in your brain and your heart.  If you are still living with the same old beliefs, judgements, habits, resentments, soured hopes and the like, cleaning out the garage is not going to make much difference because you’ll just fill it back up with the same old junk.  Clean up your sh*t inside and out and then fill it up with positive intentions and new ways of doing things or just plain living better.

 

Last night, January 5th, was a solar-new-moon eclipse in the sign of Capricorn.  Saturn, as we know, has been hanging out in its home sign of Capricorn for a while.  (and causing some people’s Saturn Return).  Saturn rules skin, nails, teeth and bones and ambitions and discipline.  You’ve heard the saying “get your teeth into it”.  Capricorn rules knees, joints, tendons and structures and systems.  A new moon represents new beginnings.  So you put that all together and that says “clean up your sh*t, ‘cause it’s time to start over with something new”.  Think you can just avoid it?  HAH!  They don’t call Saturn the taskmaster for nothing.  If you don’t clean it up, your foundations are going to crumble.

navy-fanmats-sports-rugs-17957-64_1000[1]Now let’s look at the Broncos to see how this, err, “plays out”.  (To note: Broncos were formed in 1960 and are also experiencing their Saturn Return.)  Two years ago, they won the Super Bowl.  The 2017 season involved a new coach, revolving door quarterbacks, and a struggling offense.  This season lost players one-by-one due to injuries.  Didn’t I just say that bones, joints, tendons and structures would be affected?  I say that because of these factors, the Broncos were up against a sh*tstorm of major proportions.

Astrology time again: Capricorn, an earth sign, is situated in the South Node which is all about releasing the past.  Capricorn is also known as the “daddy” sign.  Cancer, a water sign and known as “mommy” is situated in the North Node which is the point of growth.  Put earth and water together and what do you get, Mud.  Pretty darn easy to get stuck there, wouldn’t you say?  Like I said before, this combination is challenging you to look at all your old sh*t, in your head, in your heart and in your house.  Yes, that includes the garage.  Get rid of it, release it and build new foundations.  Your Daddy Capricorn and your Mommy Cancer are going to keep riding you’re a$$ until you do.

Back to the Broncos.  Everyone involved with or interested in them is stuck in Super Bowl land.  Who doesn’t want the championship?  But you have to strive for it and not just re-live it.  That means ditching outdated ideas, game plans, and even dead-a$$ed players and staff in order to bring new light and life into the locker room and the game.  No one wants to see people get fired.  No one wants to see favorite players get shipped out.  But like over-sized shoulder pads from the 80s, you have to let go of it in order to bring in something new.  (Although I think yoga pants are a poor replacement.)  It is called “moving forward”, folks, and if you want the Super Bowl for either your team or your life, you have to do it.

Planetary help is coming.  On January 21st, we have a lunar-full-moon eclipse in Leo.  Not to mention, it’s a Supermoon.  Only the best for us Leos.  Leo says “go BIG, or go home”.  By my calculations you have slightly more than two weeks to clean up your act, well at least your stuff.  But you can sure as hell start working on your belief systems.  Delete all those emails you saved from the lover that dumped you two years ago.  Get over it, already, there is someone waaay better for you.  Tell yourself you are lovable and beautiful, while you are looking in the mirror.  Cancel stupid subscriptions for things you never use and put the money in your savings account.  Build up your skills or finish your degree so you can get that job you want.  Remember, “Mommy” and “Daddy” are nagging at you.  Affirmations train your brain to believe something is real and that puts out a load of positive energy that affects your life in amazing ways.

And I bet if all the fans starting saying “the Broncos have a winning team”, the positive energy output will make them run the Patriots into the ground.  (I just had to get that in there.)

Is that garage clean yet?

Hindsight Gives You Further Vision

rear-view-mirror-835085_1920It is the end of another year and we are reminded to look back to see what the year brought us.  How do you feel about this past year?  Was it productive, crazy or blissfully mellow?  Or just an up and down roller-coaster of them all.  While it is not productive to dwell upon the past, looking back can help you see your future.

 

At times we need to look back even further and do a life review.  Now, no beating yourself up over this, just take a review.

Think over the difficulties you have experienced: situations, events, people.  These are the things that shaped you.  If you struggled through them and persevered, then you gained strength and wisdom.  If they are still kicking your a$$, then it is time to face your fears and accept that this is the hand you were dealt at the time but in no way is it the game.  Toss in those cards, take the loss and go find another game.  You get nowhere by staying at the table.

If you want to become a strong person and own your birthright, you must face challenging times.  You need personal power in order to achieve what your soul calls upon you to do.

Next, think over the times of success, achievement and what made you downright happy.  Again look at situations, events, and people.  What about these things caused you to feel good?  Was it love, delight, or completion of something?  What about this do you value most? 

Difficulties and delights contrast each other so you can focus on which ones bring you further along your path, and in your desires for your life.  Learning how to navigate through the difficulties gives you the motivation for achieving your desires.

Take some time to do a life review.  Look closely at the positive times and set intentions, and maybe goals, to increase them in your life.  Make an effort each day to include more positive thoughts or actions.  The more you focus on the positive, the more you bring into your life.

And then you don’t have to worry about silly new year’s resolutions, because you have already resolved them.  Happy New Year!

Saturn Ran Rings Around Me

saturn-67671_1920Saturn Return.  If you have read anything about astrology, you will know what that means and it might stir up dreadful feelings.  If you have heard of the 27 Club, you will also know what it means.  (The 27 Club is the group of musicians and others who didn’t make it past their 27th birthday.)

Saturn takes 27-29 years to move through the astrological signs.  It begins when you are born, and whatever sign it is in will set up challenges and opportunities for your life.  Saturn is the sign of structure.  It defines boundaries, responsibilities and commitments, but can also be limiting and restricting.  It is quite adept at revealing our weakest links.  But if you use Saturn’s transits, the rewards can be great as you can achieve your highest dreams.

When Saturn makes its returns in your sign, it can be tumultuous.  If you haven’t gotten your sh*t together by then, it will force you to do it.  Saturn is the ultimate taskmaster.  The first go-around is the call to leave adolescence behind and learn to support yourself.  Resisting that push will have you living in your parents’ basement and doing chores for an allowance.  Avoiding it altogether might get you dead.  If you can embrace it, you open doors to create the life of your dreams.  “Okay, Vanna, I’ll take Door #2, the one covered in gold.”

The second Saturn Return occurs between the ages of 57-60.  It can also be especially painful, as it is Life Review time and when your mortality becomes visible.  “Why are we even here?!” will scream loudly inside your head.  Unfulfilled dreams will roil inside your guts, demanding to be released.  Throw up or throw down the gauntlet and get them going.  Start small, make it big or make it little, just do something to settle your tummy or you might just wither away.  Sounds depressing.  Saturn can do that if you get fixated upon the negative or let other people dictate who you are.

 

 

Saturn was in Capricorn when I was born.  Capricorns are known for their work ethics.  They are responsible and practical.  My Sun Sign is Leo.  Leos are courageous, kind, generous and loyal.  You put those two together and you have someone who takes care of everything.  Yep, that’s me.  Saturn returned to Capricorn on December 19, 2017 and will remain there until March 21, 2020.  I am up to my eyeballs in Saturn’s rotation and it has kicked my a$$ this past year.  It hasn’t helped that most of the other planets went in and out of retrograde too.  Being it Capricorn, it has been all about work and responsibility.  While it has taken me down due to the nasty people I’ve dealt with, it also propelled me to complete an enormous amount of projects and new ways of doing things. 

It really does make you look at your mortality too, not that I feel I’ll check out anytime soon.  It’s more in how you have lived your life and what purpose that is.  I look at all the work and all the people I’ve taken care of and wonder “what for?”.  I just read a line in a novel that said something like “you have to go back to where you came from in order to understand where you are going.”  Hmm.  Of course, the first thing that came to mind was being unwanted and my mother’s treatment of me.  But as I relived some of that, my thoughts also were that it made me strong, resilient, and capable.  I could have wallowed in anger, became a sponge, and limited myself.  Instead, I went to college, worked my way up the work ladder, bought homes and cars and whatever else I needed.  I wouldn’t call myself wealthy, but I have a nice home, a lifestyle I enjoy, a good partner and the ability to retire.  I wouldn’t have that if I didn’t heed Saturn’s call.

Still, looking forward is intimidating.  I know that my path is to learn how to play.  It makes me anxious thinking about it.  Seriously?!  Yeah.  I’ve surrounded myself with things that encourage play, yet I so very rarely allow myself time to enjoy them.  That’s pretty sad, but I betcha there are a lot of you out there that could say the same thing.  But I’m taking it to task and I’m going to learn how to have fun instead of working to death.

Maybe I’ll play a little ring toss with Saturn.

Update: I just read on the news that Saturn is starting to lose its rings.  Getting a little taste of its own medicine?!

In The Hunt

cat-3750778_1920We are deep into football season and many teams are in the hunt to make the playoffs.  Most teams have players out of action due to injuries and trading continues throughout the season.  Everyone wants a piece of the trophy.

Throughout our lives, we strive for some trophy.  I could be a real trophy to designate the winner of a physical contest.  It could be metaphorical: the killer job, forever home, beautiful car, great kids or fabulous spouse.  Striving is motivation and carries through the journey of life.

Too often, striving for material things alone leaves us feeling empty or desirous of more.  When we don’t put purpose and soul satisfaction at the top of the list, the result is fleeting.  It is then we must reach deep into the soul and seek the meaning that sustains us.

How do you know what that is?

If there is something you simply must do on a consistent basis, then that is your calling and meaning.  I must create.  Art and beauty soothe my soul.  It can be any medium for me.  I don’t have to pick up a paintbrush or crayon to fulfill that need.  My work life consists of managing money, but even in that lies creativity.  It can be figuring out how to use the money in the best way possible or it can be designing my spreadsheets in a way that pleases my eye.  Creativity comes out in my home or in how I dress each day.  When I am unable to create, my soul weeps.  Depression sets in and life loses its meaning.

As I have previously written, I am in a bit of a funk.  I have limited my article postings and am presently taking a few days away from work to rest and rejuvenate.  I will take some time to just look within and listen to my heart.  To ask myself what I am missing and what I need to bring a happy state back to my soul.  I will work on the manuscript for my book about spirituality.  Exercise.  Right now I am listening to music.  I have been less than my happy self for a good portion of this year and I need to gain that back.

We should always be in the hunt for happiness.  Life is messy and sometimes it is hard to sustain, but our natural state is happiness.  The level can be different for each of us, but it is always there.

Unlike the Super Bowl, it is a trophy that can be had by all.