IT Is Not An Earring

earring-2591496_640Have you ever stopped wearing pierced earrings and after a time the hole grew shut? Maybe you had three or four in each ear and decided you didn’t want that many anymore. Maybe you just decided you didn’t like pierced ears after a time. Earrings are a fun and beautiful accessory that can be enjoyed.

Sex is not earring. If you don’t use IT, the hole will not grow shut. You might think that when you are in your menopause years. Your body is changing and maybe sex is not what it used to be. Our inner tissues get thinner and drier and that can make sex painful. Enough so that you would rather just quit and let the hole grow shut.

man-3221066_640Sex is enjoyable and healthful for you in many ways. If you do not move your joints the fluids surrounding them do not lubricate them properly and then you have pain. Same thing Down Below. Using IT keeps it healthier and lubricated. Plus all the brain chemicals and hormones that get generated during sex keeps you happier and healthier.

If you are experiencing a lot of pain, talk to your doctor. There are many options that can help. If you are in a relationship, SHARE your issues with your partner. It will help prevent them from thinking that you are not interested in THEM. Try different things with your partner. If penetration is too painful, try oral. Invest in a Battery Operated Boy, otherwise known as BOB. BOB can be your friend if you are not in a relationship. Just do not give up sex because it is painful.

You are still a sexy, beautiful woman. Be that! And put the earring back in.

Splurge and Purge

Barcelona: Tourism And Daily Life As Independence Crisis DeepensZARA is coming to Denver! OMFG, I will be in so much trouble. If you know about ZARA, you will understand that statement. If not, Google it.

ZARA is a Spain-based retailer of affordable clothing. But I am talking gorgeous, well-made clothing. They have a number of designers on staff, so they can quickly turn out a big selection of off-the-rack styles. Their clothing is stylish, contemporary and most often unique. Don’t let the models fool you, anyone of any age can shop there. They have an online shopping site too. My recommendations: look for the embroidered and beaded jackets. People will think you are wearing Gucci. Ah, lovely.6895252505_2_1_1[1]

I could do my entire wardrobe in ZARA. Not only would that be pricey and impractical, but I wouldn’t do it. I have many non-ZARA items in my closet that I love and will cherish until they are threadbare. However, I feel it is healthy to, on occasion, rotate items out of your closet. Things that you don’t wear just take up space in your closet and prevent you from seeing the things you love. They create stuck, heavy energy that can drag upon you when you are choosing your outfit for the day.

Ever look in your closet and think you don’t have a thing to wear?

That’s stuck energy preventing you from moving forward. It’s time to clean that sh*t out and allow yourself to present the best you. You ought to be able to look in the mirror and feel good about yourself.

The first step is to clear out the old. I recommend reading Mari Kondo’s book “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up”. It is a very inspiring and useful method to clear out clutter and organize what you keep. It is kindly and practical and based upon “keep what you love”. You do that by holding the item and asking yourself if you love it. If you haven’t read it and want to, go to the Resource page on this blog and click the link. It will take you to Amazon and in just a few days you can have it in your hot little hands. Then you can start to change your life. It seriously works. I Kondo’d everything before we moved into our new house. Then did it again and I routinely go through my clothes and my house. I feel lighter every time. Plus I have room to buy something new. I know that sounds self-defeating, but life moves on and things change. Nothing lives forever and neither does that monster shoulder pad blazer you have from 1985. Although I miss the 80s.

If you want to live your best life, be brave and Purge so you can Splurge.

Me, My Selfie, and I

OMG, I can’t believe how good my hair looks today. I should’ve worn different earrings, they don’t really match my dress. My lipstick looks off. And. . . HHOOONNNKKKK!!!! Well sh*t, another double caramel macchiato ruined.

Didn’t your mother tell you to look both ways before you cross the street? To watch where you were going?

christmas-1871085_640The Selfie Obsession is overtaking the world. Preoccupation with looks, clothing, jewelry and location-location-location has nearly gotten many people injured or killed.

I remember as a teenager and young adult being overly concerned with how I looked. I believe that’s quite normal as you are developing a sense of who you are and who you want to be. Much of that includes how you appear to others. It might have been hours in front of the mirror, making sure every hair strand was where it was supposed to be and your makeup was perfect. Then a pile of discarded clothes as you picked the perfect outfit. I began sewing at a young age so I could have choices that I liked.

As you get older, you have less time to fuss and begin to develop an acceptance. Sometimes you would look in the mirror and think “f*ck” and go anyway. Those moments weren’t always the best choice when you figured out later in the day that white underwear wasn’t necessarily the right choice to wear under white pants.

mirror-1138098_640Since the creation of those magical cell phone cameras, preoccupation with appearance has morphed into obsessive levels. I’m not sure I understand it since I think I have taken one selfie in my life and promptly deleted it. I’m not that excited about close-up photos. I think selfies have gone way beyond checking your appearance or sharing a moment with friends. I heard on the news that it has now been termed “Selfitis”.IMG_0195

Let’s examine that word. “Self” meaning your essential being. “-itis” as related to inflammatory diseases. So does that mean you are an inflamed being? Are you a disease that needs to be treated? With what? Your cell phone camera?! I suppose it’s better than some drug. But why would you think there is something wrong with you? I’ve read that many people have such anxiety about how they look that they feel compelled to take a selfie. Don’t you know you are a beautiful human being?

Put your phone down, give yourself a big hug and smile. . .at everyone around you. They’ll smile back and then you won’t need a device to validate your loveliness.

You Had Me At Aloha

IMG_0184Aloha. A Hawaiian word for greeting. Having experienced Hawaii, I think it more accurately represents “Welcome” and welcoming. Hawaiians also have a word “Ohana” that means family. They integrate welcome and family together. Similar to the Spanish “mi casa es su casa”.IMG_0261

Oahu can best be described as Aloha Ohana. The people there are friendly, kind and generous. They have this wonderfully relaxed attitude about life, something that so many of us should incorporate into our existence. We could all benefit from a little bit of “hang loose”. Just think about what your fingers might be clutching at this very moment and what is stressing you out.

One of the most notable demonstrations of that was being on the freeway during rush hour. In Denver, it is a fight for dominance. Horns, howling and hand gestures. Not to mention the inability to move from one lane to another. “Let me in? No way in hell.” In Oahu, the mood was “we’ll all get to where we’re going when we need to, just chill.” No noise, no hand gestures except to wave you in. If you put on your blinker, they very kindly make room for you to slide in. Poetry in motion. Please don’t ever lose that.

Oahu had two things I love most: a beach on one side of the street and city on the other. Eat, drink, shop and swim. Heavenly. And to think I wasn’t all that excited about going there. What?! Are you nuts?! Well, I love a good beach and I had been told that the water was rough. It is, but on Waikiki they have a shore break so even a baby can be in the water. Totally brilliant. And now that I’ve been there, I want to go back.IMG_0367

Thank you to Oahu people for showing me that life can indeed be beautiful, relaxing and simple.  .  .  .  . Aloha.IMG_0339

It’s Another Tequila Sunrise

sunriseWinter sunrises are beautiful in Denver. Rich reds, vibrant oranges, deep yellows all flowing into a clear azure sky with edges of teal. It is a treat to be able to look out the window at the dawning of a new day.

Sunrises are the Universe’s way of telling you that each day is a new beginning. You wake up rested [hopefully] and your eyes are filled with color. This colored light goes deep into your cellular level and stimulates the energy system. The colors of the morning sky relate to the “earth-based” chakras.

Red to activate the Root chakra, reminding you that you are grounded to Mother Earth and are safe in her arms. Orange to awaken the sacral chakra, your center of creativity and emotions. As the orange deepens in the sky, your emotions are balanced and any that don’t serve you can be released to Mother Earth for healing. Yellow for the Solar Plexus chakra, reminding you that you own your power. As the colors move into green, so does your energy move up into the Heart Chakra, opening you to love and connection. And then to blue, the Throat chakra, giving you the ability to speak your truth, needs and wants. As the day continues to open, the energy moves up into the Third Eye and Crown chakras to connect you with your Higher Self and ultimately the Universe.

Nature serves to remind you of your Divine being.

This morning, January 31st, Nature gave us an additional show in the form of the Super Blood Moon and Lunar Eclipse. I had the pleasure of watching the eclipse as I enjoyed my breakfast. The path of the Moon teaches us to manifest and release. We let go of what does not serve us in order to make room for what serves us better. If we set those intentions, life works for us instead of against us. This morning’s show kicks that power up to supersonic. If you haven’t yet set your intentions, there is still time all through the day. Give them up to the Universe to fulfill in a way that is better than you can imagine.

When you wish upon a star. . . or a Super Blood Moon.

The Men In My Closet

I know that sounds kinky. It’s not. Not even remotely. Get your mind out of the gutter.

I confess I have an attachment to fashion labels. Yes, shallow and easily swayed by a name. There is quite a crowd in my closet and I love them all. Tommy, Louis, Christian, Brian, Marc, Manolo, Franco, Michael and some I’m probably forgetting. Sorry guys. There are women there too – Kate, Cynthia, Miucci and Anna. But it seems that men are really good at creating beautiful things for women, especially shoes. I am thankful for this.

Why do women need Men In Their Closet? Yes, we know we have fourteen pairs of black shoes. Yes, we wear them all. It’s fun and it makes us feel good. When I put on a favorite outfit, I feel like I’m getting an upgrade. I smile. I stand taller. I start my day on happy

feet. A great outfit can actually turn a sh*tty day into something tolerable. Sure I look in the mirror, but why not? If. It. Makes. Me. Feel. Good. It. Is. A. Good. Thing. And if I feel good and am happy, then it radiates out to everyone around me and they feel good. Bonus!

Let’s hear it for the Boys!

Act Your Age

Photos Courtesy of Pixabay

How many times in your life have you heard this?  Add that to the prevailing attitude of retaining your youth and it is no wonder we don’t know how to act.

There are aspects to both of these that have truth.  To live your best life, you should adopt an attitude of joyful exuberance in whatever stage of life you are in.  Joyful exuberance is happiness and acceptance of self no matter your age.

Trouble comes when we get stuck on a particular number or phase in our life.  Have you ever noticed people, maybe you are one of them, who constantly talk about your teenage or college years as though that is all there is or will ever be?  I’m not a psychotherapist nor profess to be one.  These are things I have learned in my own healing journey or observed in others.  I believe that when we get stuck in a particular time frame of our life is the point where we have experienced some level of trauma or loss of self.

I once worked with a woman close in age to me, who constantly talked about her teenage years and her ex-husband/boyfriend-at-that-time.  Even her appearance reflected that of a teenager.  I especially noticed her liberal use of super-shiny, super-sticky lip gloss.  I use lip gloss, but her use was similar to that of young teens.  She rarely ever spoke of her present life, except to complain about her three children and all the troubles they were in.  She had her oldest child at nineteen and now that child was repeating the pattern.  She also went to school with her youngest child just to make sure the kid would go!  What trauma and life-changing event occurred in her teenage years that put a hold on her life growth?

Where do you find yourself stuck?  What time in your life seems all-encompassing and your last best years?  There is so much in your life that you are missing out on by keeping yourself stuck in the past.  Your present life is what is important as it is where you create your best future.  Stop being stuck.  Heal your past, make friends with it and put it behind you.  Find the self within you that you stopped being.  Reinvent who you are.  Adopt the attitude of joyful exuberance.

And act your age.  Whatever that is.

Noteworthy news: Older women being featured on style magazine covers is rapidly growing.  Check out some of these beauties: Maye Musk (Elon’s mommy); street style babes Lyn Slater and Sarah Jane Adams; former Playboy Bunny Dorrie Jacobsen; and the grande dame of all, Iris Apfel.  There are countless others being added to the influx of fabulous older women.  The fashion industry is finally taking note that beauty has no limits.  Rock on!

Resolutions or Revolution?

fireworks-2223570_1280It’s that time of the year when everyone starts to make New Year’s Resolutions. We set some goals or accomplishments and a completion date. Too often they are limited in purpose or too restricted in a period of time and end up being ditched by the end of February. Or maybe we just get too damned cold and sick of eating green salad, and dive into that plate of lasagna just to get some heat in our body. I know this part applies to those of us in the northern hemisphere, but I think winter is a pretty sh*tty time to make resolutions.

It seems to me that the very word: resolution, has a negative sound to it. I think “resolve”, as in I resolve to doing this. . .Thing. The dictionary’s definition of the verb is: settle or find a solution to. “Settle”??? Sounds damned depressing to me.

What about changing a resolution into something that gets you excited? Instead of the new year, why not start July 4th and make it a Revolution? Seems fitting for Americans who understand this holiday. The dictionary’s definition of the noun is: a dramatic and wide-reaching change in the way something works or is organized or in people’s ideas about it.

Now doesn’t that get you excited?  Wide-reaching change? Something like, “I’m gonna go all revolution on the crap I eat”.  I don’t know about you, but that sounds empowering. And it sounds like something that you could stick with and turn into a daily habit. When have you ever heard about a revolution that was over in a week? Those things usually go on for years and have affected great change. (I know, they are often destructive, but wouldn’t you like to go all destructive on your beer gut?)

“You say you want a revolution. . . “

He Loves Me, I Love Me Not

Did you ever play that game with a flower and pluck the petals off? If only relationships were that simple. We have invested a lot of time and effort in the romantic world: obtaining, maintaining and sustaining. We could make it easier on ourselves and it starts within.

Romantic relationships are the ultimate mirror. Whatever we feel about ourselves gets reflected back to us by those we love. And us to them. So how much do you want to be loved? Unconditionally? Nearly unobtainable in the human world. We are here to grow our spirit so those mirrors are necessary to take us beyond just our reflection in them. If you want a fully loving relationship, you should become that person you want to love you.

What parts of you do you believe are unlovable? That is only based on your belief system. The Creator placed you here as a beautiful, lovable child. The Creator ain’t no slouch so that has to be true. Look in the mirror and see yourself as completely lovable. Tell yourself that: “I Love Me”. Hug yourself. Treat yourself as you want to be treated. The more you do this, the more it radiates out to others and they will mirror back the lovable you. Imagine what your romantic relationship looks like when you are lovable. Pure joy radiates from people who believe that they are lovable. They can light up a room. YOU ARE LOVABLE!

So don’t be surprised if there is a candlelight dinner waiting when you get home. And rose petals, with He Loves Me written on them.

You Are Not A Samsonite

LouvreI am sure we have all seen someone who has spent too much time in the sun. Their skin has that rich, copper-brown color, but upon closer look appears thick and leathery looking. And decidedly unhealthy too. I remember when I was a kid, my aunt would coat herself head to foot in baby oil, put on a swimsuit and lay on a blanket in the backyard for hours. Then days later, I would help her peel off that sunburn.


Time, thinner atmosphere (yes, global warming!), pollution, stress, too many carbs, too little sleep, and whatever else you have encountered has taken a toll on your skin. But like the tires on our cars, aging will wear down the surface of the skin. Nothing ages a woman more than her skin. However, it is never too late to baby it.Vatican

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of products on the market for your skin. Face, body, feet, hands. You do not need to spend a fortune to get results. Cleanse and moisturize at the very least. The very act of washing your face is relaxing and comforting. Rubbing something creamy into your skin is self-soothing. Especially if you crawl into bed right after. Mmmm, yawn.
CuracaoSymbolically, skin is our barrier to the world. We absorb toxins on a daily basis, from our environment to those crabby, draining people. No wonder sometimes we do not look our best. Bathing gets rid of those toxins. You can even imagine all that yuck going down the drain, including those toxic people. And then when you smooth in some nice body lotion think of it as a symbolic act of putting on a protective layer to keep that yuck out. Practicing daily skin care is more than just rejuvenating the outside.London

Sometimes that yuck sticks around. Whether it is from too much sun or holding onto other people’s crap, it can fester. Rashes, skin diseases, even skin cancer. Along with going to the doctor for treatment, take a look inside and listen to what is irritating you. You will speed your treatment along if you work on your inner yuck.


Besides, you want to use that other Samsonite to go to Paris in the spring.