Re-Vital-Isation

Hello Friends,

It’s been awhile since I’ve actually written a blog article. Another strange year, to be sure, and I did spend some time writing and publishing my new book Dealing With Sh*t: Becoming Your Badass Self: Fry, Lorrie K: 9798746815446: Amazon.com: Books I’d be much obliged if you purchased a copy. If you like my brand of writing style, I have no doubt you will enjoy the newest in my line of “Sh*t” books. (not about poop, in case you were wondering)

Anyway, I have been quite busy. The Colorado winter was long and cold this year. In March, we had an enormous amount of snow. When you are retired, you naturally spend more time at home. Now, I don’t mind this, being a homebody, but I do like to get out and walk. Not bloody likely with 2 feet of snow and more coming. So we traded snowballs for cactus.

Colorado in March
Arizona in June

I had been feeling anxious and restless throughout the early months of the year. You could blame it on the snow and cold, or blame it on the viral insanity. I suppose those things are true, but it was more than that. I felt an urgency to leave Colorado. My lovely, beautiful, 5-year-old home in a great neighborhood with food and drink and shopping all within a 5 minute walk began to feel like a prison. I was constantly on edge with keeping up with maintenance, not that it needed it, but you have to keep things up to avoid bigger issues later on. My Sweetie was usually off working on a project, so I took care of things. I had plenty of entertainment at home, as well as an infinite amount of information to be found online. But something felt “off”. I longed for some fun. I longed for less responsibilities. I longed for warm weather. There is nothing quite as nice as a swimming pool, beach, patio, bistro or afternoon cocktail in the sunshine, providing it’s not too hot. We have friends that were already living in Arizona. We had made several visits in the past few years, but I wasn’t that excited about it at the time. Still in my stress-filled work coma and couldn’t appreciate the good points. But suddenly, it seemed the place to go.

In April, we took a road trip to Phoenix to see if we wanted to relocate. We took a few days and drove around, and decided that the Sun City/Sun City West area was the place to be. Plenty of things to do, shop, eat, drink and be merry – or my newfound slogan “getting jiggy in the desert with the old people”. We did some digging into the real estate, and a couple weeks later my Sweetie flew down for a couple of tours. He picked the house I hoped for, on a golf course with a beautiful view from 2 sides of the home. He made an offer and it was accepted. Then began the real work. If you have ever moved, you know that it is a great deal of work, stress, time and money. Thankfully, we were both retired and had the luxury of time. Add to that, the listing and selling of our then-current home. People traipsing through trying to get a good view of the home, but with moving boxes stacked everywhere. But it happened, and it afforded us the home, the move and a renewal of our new home.

We went from a 5 year-old home to one built in 1973. Very interesting. Now, I love mid-century modern so this was just right. A three-story home to a ranch, which is wonderful, to say the least. The prior owner had maintained the home quite well, and it has some very cool characteristics, which we are preserving. If you want to know anything about these homes, look up Del Webb and Sun City. Loads of storage, big windows and patio doors open to the outside – and get this – big clothes closets. Yes, really. Although, it was a little short on space for my shoes, but most places are short on space for my shoes. I believe I’ve written about them before.

It began as a beige box. Beige walls, ceiling, trim and carpet. We ripped out the carpet and installed laminate flooring. We painted everything white, except for accent walls in this happy yellow color, incidentally called “Smiley Face”. (The original Smiley Face was created in 1963 – a true mid-century modern icon.) It kind of makes me feel like I’m at a beach; my favorite place in the world. Talk about re-VITAL-isation.

Still a little unpacking and work to be done – waiting on library bookshelves

My anxiety and restlessness came from a serious need to release a lot of my responsibilities and learn to play and have fun. I wasn’t really having that in my Colorado life. Colorado is a beautiful state, and Denver is very vibrant, but it is all primarily oriented towards the outdoor life. Nothing wrong with that, I had done plenty of outdoorsy things. But, when you are older, you just aren’t feeling the need to pitch a tent, load/unload a camper, hike or any of that stuff. Not that older people CAN’T, but I and my Sweetie were true urbanites. If you know anything about Sun City/Sun City West, then you know it was designed for the over-55 crowd. I have seen more 80-somethings, who are healthy and active, in the 6 weeks I’ve been here than I ever have before. If you get bored here, you are probably dead. There are 8 rec centers, and probably as many golf courses (I’m not a golfer) in this city, with plenty to do at each. I’m loving the walking pool. Like a water-filled rat maze and you walk in a current. Great exercise in 100+ degree temps. And then there is Bell Road. If you can’t find a place to shop, eat, drink, get services of any kind, then you just haven’t left your house.

Have I said yet that I love it here? Let me count the ways. I feel as though I am beginning to blossom and really enjoy life. Sure, we’ve been very busy and tired from working on the house, but that is short-lived and will soon be done. And then it’s “party on, dudes”. I think it’s about time for an afternoon cocktail.

Thought For Today, June 1, 2021

Happy June! It’s been busy times; Loving Your Sh*t is in the process of moving from Denver to Phoenix. Time to get jiggy in the desert with the old people. Wait, I am one. Makes me laugh to think about that. I’m young at heart.

Words of wisdom for anyone planning a move: at least three months prior to your move, seriously go through your house like Sherman clearing Atlanta and get ready of all the shit that you don’t need, don’t want, or any excess that won’t fit in the new house – especially if you are down-sizing, because you will have enough to do just taking care of all the paperwork and packing. We’ve had 4 trips to the landfill, 10 trips to donation centers and several giveaways to friends. You will be surprised how much you really don’t need.

Look Within

The lockdowns of 2020 have forced us away from friends and family. We’ve been muzzled and distanced to prevent conversations and physical touch. Many of you are alone. It’s heartbreaking and unnecessary. It might be necessary, but not in the way you think.

When I am disturbed by something, I search within to see both sides of the issue. I think the mass separation was to assist every being into looking within themselves for what they need, be it faith, truth, resilience, creativity, healing or whatever. The answers are always within you and never outside of you.

I have spoken often of the Great Awakening, humanities shift into a better way of living. That of heart-based and service to others. The release of greed, corruption, poverty, evil, egomania and other negative behaviors. A time that has been foretold and coincides with the Conjunction of Jupiter and Saturn on December 21st. Although no one really knows, it is projected that we will experience a great burst of energetic frequency that jumpstarts our path to higher living. I don’t view this as frightening or that a bunch of people will be struck down. Rather a lifting us out of heavy, negative energy. Please, God, make it quick.

What is important about the forced aloneness of 2020 is our inner healing work. Our frightened Inner Child has been screaming and having meltdowns – exactly what we need to realize what is triggering us. What has activated your tantrums this year – relationships, money, work, housing, the list is long? The repetition of the issues indicates the area(s) of your life that you need to heal. Do you want to keep reliving your crap over and over like a bad movie – or do you want to resolve it and move forward into the New Earth? Your issues may be related to the collective. Maybe it’s a family legacy or maybe just a neighborhood issue. Every step in your healing clears those connections and in all directions in time.

I know my personal pattern is with romantic relationships. I have always attracted emotionally unavailable partners with narcissistic tendencies. Ouch. Yes, I realize this and know that I am over-giving until the point of saturation and then my coping behavior is to ditch the relationship and run. Only to repeat the pattern. Admitting this is the first step to healing. Over the past month, my inner work has revealed to me a similarity in the women of my family. Out-of-wedlock or unwanted pregnancies and then lack of support by the fathers was a common theme. I was the result of this and chose not to have children for fear of perpetuating poor parenting. The root issue for me and the other women of my family is lack of self-worth. That our value to men was what we could do for them or what was between our legs. It may sound as though I hate men. I don’t. Like attracts like, so they too must have experienced patterns in their lives that taught them to be unavailable or unworthy of love. I may have attracted my partners in order to affect their healing too. Whether that happened, I don’t know and it’s not for me to know. Only my wounds are my responsibility.

So how does one begin the healing journey? First, name the trauma. Acknowledge that you experienced it in order to grow your soul and learn how to love yourself. Second, feel the feelings. Stuffing down pain and resentment just keeps it locked into your cellular structure, and it will keep erupting until you do. Connect with your Inner Child. Ask what It needs. Apologize for not honoring those needs, but that – you as the adult – will take care of and provide everything. Accept that your parents were incapable of providing for you, but forgive them for their own wounds. Nurture your Inner Child. Look at your family history and see if there is a similar pattern. Grieve for the wounding of all. Forgive them for not honoring their needs. These actions will help shift the negative energies and transmute them.

Begin to cultivate the Divine within you. Absolutely know that Divine Creator would not make someone flawed, only someone strong and capable of great learning and experiencing. You are a Divine Child of God. You are absolutely worthy of love, abundance, prosperity, peace, happiness and every other good thing you can imagine. It is all there waiting for you as YOUR DIVINE RIGHT. You have only been led to believe you are unworthy. When you can acknowledge all that is within you, you will look within for what you need. When you can act as if it is yours, you will see it manifest into your physical reality. This is all coming to each and every Divine Soul on Earth so it is important to release whatever holds you back from living a beautiful life. Take your alone time and do the inner work. I promise you it will worth it.

Thought For Today, August 15th 2020

If you knew two years ago what today would be like, what would you have changed?  So what would you do today to make two years from now what you want it to be?

Dream it into existence.  Dream BIG.

I Can’t Believe What I Heard

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Image by Fathromi Ramdlon from Pixabay

I’m reposting this, because there is a lot of cognitive dissonance going on right now.  The important thing to remember is that your truth is that which resonates within you.  Does it make you feel good or does it make you feel bad?
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Cognitive dissonance occurs when you suddenly hear completely conflicting information about a long-held belief.  It causes stress and anxiety, and can change your brain pathways to that which resemble someone with PTSD.

A good example of cognitive dissonance is someone who began smoking during the years that the Marlboro Man commercials were running.  Sexy, mysterious, the actor playing this role made smoking look cool and tough.  These ads were soon followed by Joe Camel.  Both depicted a habit that was thought to be completely acceptable.  And then. . .lung cancer became the new enemy.

Many smokers went into complete denial.  “That won’t happen to me.”  Some thought they should just cut back.  And there were others who probably thought “what the hell, I’m going to die someday, anyway” and increased their consumption.  These behaviors were maladaptive, in order to lessen the belief’s conflict.  Cognitive dissonance occurred when they encountered someone, or heard evidence of smoking-induced lung cancer.  Cortisol would flood the body and eventually contribute to chronic inflammation, the root cause of most diseases.

Cognitive dissonance can occur when a trusted source of information suddenly denounces everything they supported, or even removes evidence of such.  I believe we are in a time when such things are occurring.  So, how do you reconcile conflicting beliefs?

Avoidance can be helpful, but might be just putting your head in the sand.  Defiance, which may or may not get you into trouble.  Changing your belief, but you might want to perform due diligence of fact-checking both sets of beliefs.  But ultimately, it comes down to what do you feel in your gut.  Your gut is an extremely powerful sensory device.  You’ve had that sick feeling when you are around someone who makes you feel bad or is scary.  Trust that feeling.  Make time for meditation so you can tune into the Universe and ask for guidance.  Don’t worry if you don’t hear anything immediately.  The Universe will get the answer to you in multiple ways, even with a song playing over and over in your head.  When you feel inside that you have your truth, seek out like-minded individuals who will support you.

Just don’t make yourself sick over someone’s lies.

Thought For Today – July 22nd

Ignorance breeds fear.  It is a simple thing to condemn or hate that which we do not understand.  Open your mind to allow in any or all possibilities.  Feel in your heart that which resonates within you.  Knowledge is not only power, it is Peace.

I Can’t Believe What I Heard

good-1122969_1920
Image by Fathromi Ramdlon from Pixabay

Cognitive dissonance occurs when you suddenly hear completely conflicting information about a long-held belief.  It causes stress and anxiety, and can change your brain pathways to that which resemble someone with PTSD.

A good example of cognitive dissonance is someone who began smoking during the years that the Marlboro Man commercials were running.  Sexy, mysterious, the actor playing this role made smoking look cool and tough.  These ads were soon followed by Joe Camel.  Both depicted a habit that was thought to be completely acceptable.  And then. . .lung cancer became the new enemy.

Many smokers went into complete denial.  “That won’t happen to me.”  Some thought they should just cut back.  And there were others who probably thought “what the hell, I’m going to die someday, anyway” and increased their consumption.  These behaviors were maladaptive, in order to lessen the belief’s conflict.  Cognitive dissonance occurred when they encountered someone, or heard evidence of smoking-induced lung cancer.  Cortisol would flood the body and eventually contribute to chronic inflammation, the root cause of most diseases.

Cognitive dissonance can occur when a trusted source of information suddenly denounces everything they supported, or even removes evidence of such.  I believe we are in a time when such things are occurring.  So, how do you reconcile conflicting beliefs?

Avoidance can be helpful, but might be just putting your head in the sand.  Defiance, which may or may not get you into trouble.  Changing your belief, but you might want to perform due diligence of fact-checking both sets of beliefs.  But ultimately, it comes down to what do you feel in your gut.  Your gut is an extremely powerful sensory device.  You’ve had that sick feeling when you are around someone who makes you feel bad or is scary.  Trust that feeling.  Make time for meditation so you can tune into the Universe and ask for guidance.  Don’t worry if you don’t hear anything immediately.  The Universe will get the answer to you in multiple ways, even with a song playing over and over in your head.  When you feel inside that you have your truth, seek out like-minded individuals who will support you.

Just don’t make yourself sick over someone’s lies.

Happy Mother’s Day

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Image by John Hain from Pixabay

There are a multitude of sources regarding the origination of Mother’s Day, and all for good reason.  I like to think of it as honoring the nurturing aspect of a woman towards a child.  However, many women are not mothers, including me, but that doesn’t lessen the capability of nurturing.  Nor do I think it is limited to the female gender.

Nurturing is a deeply-ingrained capacity to care for another, and a full expression of love.  Anyone can act in the capacity of a mother simply through this self-less, generous expression.  The first step to nurturing is turning it inwards to yourself.  You cannot give to others freely, without first giving to yourself.

Nurturing is honoring yourself when you are tired, just as a father puts a cranky child to bed.  It is feeding yourself when you are hungry, as a mother nurses a hungry baby.  It is motivating yourself to fulfill your passions, as a parent encourages a child to build their skills.

To love yourself unconditionally by honoring your body, your needs and your very existence, all of which is learned in your early childhood.  If those needs were not met when you were a child, it is never to late to nurture yourself.  You act out when your inner child is not being cared for.  Ask yourself what you need and do that.  Give yourself a hug and tell your child-self that you are loved and cared for and protected.  When you begin to mother yourself, you will no longer seek it outside of you.  Your relationships will become more meaningful and your total well-being will feel happy.

Happy Mother’s Day to all of us.