IT Is Not An Earring

earring-2591496_640Have you ever stopped wearing pierced earrings and after a time the hole grew shut? Maybe you had three or four in each ear and decided you didn’t want that many anymore. Maybe you just decided you didn’t like pierced ears after a time. Earrings are a fun and beautiful accessory that can be enjoyed.

Sex is not earring. If you don’t use IT, the hole will not grow shut. You might think that when you are in your menopause years. Your body is changing and maybe sex is not what it used to be. Our inner tissues get thinner and drier and that can make sex painful. Enough so that you would rather just quit and let the hole grow shut.

man-3221066_640Sex is enjoyable and healthful for you in many ways. If you do not move your joints the fluids surrounding them do not lubricate them properly and then you have pain. Same thing Down Below. Using IT keeps it healthier and lubricated. Plus all the brain chemicals and hormones that get generated during sex keeps you happier and healthier.

If you are experiencing a lot of pain, talk to your doctor. There are many options that can help. If you are in a relationship, SHARE your issues with your partner. It will help prevent them from thinking that you are not interested in THEM. Try different things with your partner. If penetration is too painful, try oral. Invest in a Battery Operated Boy, otherwise known as BOB. BOB can be your friend if you are not in a relationship. Just do not give up sex because it is painful.

You are still a sexy, beautiful woman. Be that! And put the earring back in.

Me, My Selfie, and I

OMG, I can’t believe how good my hair looks today. I should’ve worn different earrings, they don’t really match my dress. My lipstick looks off. And. . . HHOOONNNKKKK!!!! Well sh*t, another double caramel macchiato ruined.

Didn’t your mother tell you to look both ways before you cross the street? To watch where you were going?

christmas-1871085_640The Selfie Obsession is overtaking the world. Preoccupation with looks, clothing, jewelry and location-location-location has nearly gotten many people injured or killed.

I remember as a teenager and young adult being overly concerned with how I looked. I believe that’s quite normal as you are developing a sense of who you are and who you want to be. Much of that includes how you appear to others. It might have been hours in front of the mirror, making sure every hair strand was where it was supposed to be and your makeup was perfect. Then a pile of discarded clothes as you picked the perfect outfit. I began sewing at a young age so I could have choices that I liked.

As you get older, you have less time to fuss and begin to develop an acceptance. Sometimes you would look in the mirror and think “f*ck” and go anyway. Those moments weren’t always the best choice when you figured out later in the day that white underwear wasn’t necessarily the right choice to wear under white pants.

mirror-1138098_640Since the creation of those magical cell phone cameras, preoccupation with appearance has morphed into obsessive levels. I’m not sure I understand it since I think I have taken one selfie in my life and promptly deleted it. I’m not that excited about close-up photos. I think selfies have gone way beyond checking your appearance or sharing a moment with friends. I heard on the news that it has now been termed “Selfitis”.IMG_0195

Let’s examine that word. “Self” meaning your essential being. “-itis” as related to inflammatory diseases. So does that mean you are an inflamed being? Are you a disease that needs to be treated? With what? Your cell phone camera?! I suppose it’s better than some drug. But why would you think there is something wrong with you? I’ve read that many people have such anxiety about how they look that they feel compelled to take a selfie. Don’t you know you are a beautiful human being?

Put your phone down, give yourself a big hug and smile. . .at everyone around you. They’ll smile back and then you won’t need a device to validate your loveliness.

The Crazy Train of Menopause

S Train 50Cue up: Ozzie

No, you are not bat-sh*t crazy. Not even a little, peering-over-the-edge into cray-cray. You are on the journey through menopause. Not to say that won’t make you feel nuts. So first let us take a step back in time to understand this.

When you were a young girl, around the age of eleven, you knew what you wanted to be when you grew up. You knew what you were passionate about even if you didn’t know what the word meant. Maybe you took action on your dreams – wrote and illustrated a storybook, orchestrated a fund-raiser at your school, made things and sold them.

And then. . . puberty arrived. You were horrified to discover that you were bleeding DOWN THERE. Then came the Crying and the Drama. You cried your way into your teen years and it escalated into DRAMA. Young adulthood brought “He Loves Me!” and “He Doesn’t Love Me!” and more Drama. And eventually some nice boy decided you weren’t totally nuts and put a ring on your finger. Suddenly estrogen hit its all-time-high and your world became “how can I care for/cook/clean/pickup/work, work, work for you and you and you”. You grew older and you started getting angry when the for-everyone-else became exhausting. You didn’t know it, but your estrogen started its roller-coaster game.

The menopause journey has begun. The gradual depletion of estrogen drives us to return to Self. It is the time to teach others that they are perfectly capable of making their own lunch or whatever. It is the time for you to remember what your eleven-year-old self was passionate about and build your best life. Yes, you might feel nuts and those around you will be convinced that you have gone totally bat-sh*t crazy and don’t love them anymore. You will all get through it and survive. And you know something, when those around you see how happy you are fulfilling your dreams they might just step on the bandwagon and help you.

Here’s to your best life.  Bat-sh*t crazy, indeed.

Originally posted October 2017


You Become What You Eat

yoga-429718_640It is difficult to listen to any advice about what to eat these days. Everyone has an opinion, everyone has a new diet, and everyone still eliminates it all in the same way.

You have to know your body, and you have to pay attention to how it reacts to what you put inside of it. Everyone is different so it stands to reason that we all need different things.

Mainly, I think that the least amount of chemicals we ingest the better we will feel. Too many chemicals usually leads to more chemicals to try to fix them. And then we wonder why we feel like sh*t most of the time and the medical world wants to give us even more chemicals. But that’s a tangent that I’m not going to go off on.

Here is what I’ve learned about food:

Water, water, water. It’s not about your skin as so many would have us believe. My skin is dry as a bone and I suck down water all day long. Water makes you pee, end of story. Peeing purges toxins so think of it as taking a bath from the inside out. Adding a squeeze of fresh lemon, FRESH – not that stuff in the plastic lemon, boosts the toxin release. Try it. You’ll pee more.

To continue the elimination topic. I know, gross, but that’s life. Vegetables make you poop. Like water, that’s a good thing. Gets rid of, shall we say, stuck toxins. Double gross. But hey, my nurse friend told me once that if you are sick but still eat, drink, poop and pee you will live. More carrots, anyone?

Fruit and dairy give your stomach something to do. They make the vegetables work harder. Plus they taste good and can help you get over your sugar addiction. (I’m not there, yet.)

The vegans will hate me, but meat is good for you. Animal protein makes your hair grow, your fingernails strong and long and keeps your muscle tissue intact. Muscles help burn fat. Yes, they do and the shape of them makes your shape look good. Six pack abs don’t come from beer.

Eggs, eggs, eggs. Breakfast of champions. Stir in some green chili and you won’t be hungry until dinner.

Beans. I’m not really sure what purpose they serve except to entertain teenage boys.screenshot

And then my all-time favorite: grains. I love bread, or at least I used to, until I learned about chemically-modified grains. Truly scary. Grains just muck up your intestines and destroy all the work the vegetables just did. They make you swell up like a balloon and give older women hot flashes from hell.

Sugar. OH SIGH. That’s my addiction of choice. It’s in almost everything and very hard to give up. The best thing to do is limit the type and amount you put in your mouth. I get one piece of chocolate with lunch and dinner. Keeps me happy and keeps the craving at bay. Cold turkey would never work.

Whatever you eat, just think about how it would look on you. Do you want to look like a chemical diagram or a long, thin green bean?

The 27 Club

ship-2804074_1280I’m sure you are familiar with this; the musicians who died at the age of 27. Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Kurt Cobain. And countless others. I was just reminded of this when the radio station I listen to was planning a weekend lineup of their music.

What is so significant about the age of 27?

There is an astrological phenomenon called the “Saturn Return”, or the “get your sh*t together” time. Every 27-29 years, Saturn rolls through the skies and returns to the astrological sign it was in when you were born. The first return is the wakeup call to being a grown-up. It is the time when you face your toughest lessons, possibly a time to clean-up the sh*t storm you had been creating. It is the time to commit to your calling. Some people get the message and get on the path of good things. Oprah, Steve Jobs and JK Rowling had difficult twenty-something years and. . . well you know their successes.

Saturn is known as the taskmaster. It rules Capricorn, which is noted for goal-setting. Serious get your sh*t together stuff.

The second Saturn Return rolls around in your late fifties, but is less crazy-making than the first simply because you’ve “been there, done that” and have the wisdom to deal with it. However, it can still be stressful. How many people do you know that have divorced or remarried during this time? It is the time for your life review, to take care of unfinished business, to return to your passion and maybe just to ditch what no longer serves you. Resistance is futile or so say the Borg [Star Trek]. People who do [resist] usually check out from society, live alone and collect cats.

The third Saturn Return comes in at about age 90. If you’ve lived that long, then I’m totally bettin’ that you’ve got your sh*t together – so congratulations. Please share your wisdom with the rest of us.

Me, I’m in my second return. Saturn was in Capricorn when I was born and made me a hard-workin’ soul. Kinda over it. I’ve made quite a few changes in the last year or so that have improved my life, taught me how to relax, and that please my soul. I’ve planned for my retirement in a couple of years, oddly enough right before Saturn moves into Aquarius. Coincidence? Maybe.

I just like to think that Saturn has my back.

Finding Nemo


Do you sometimes think that you live in a fishbowl and spend all your time looking outside of the glass? Or that you are content to just swim around in circles knowing that you are in your space. Occasionally, when the cat takes a big swipe at your bowl, things get a little sideways – so to speak – and you are not sure you want to be in a fishbowl. The ocean is calling. . .Nemo. Fishbowls are made of glass so you can see all the possibilities that surround you.

Nemo got caught and put in a fishbowl, escaped, and spent the rest of the movie journeying back home. Along the way he encountered many adventures, other creatures, and even some scary experiences. His escapades served a greater purpose for him. He liked his way of life, but he had grown and was a much happier fish. (That’s my take on the story, anyway.)

Life is a series of fishbowls and we jump from one to another due to our growth, our needs and sometimes just our wants. But it is how you view your time in your fishbowl that matters. Is it a prison, a cave, paradise, and/or a window to other fishbowls?question-679997_1920

My sweetie and I have recently been looking at retirement communities. We’re not at the place where we want or even need to move. We’ve only been in our new house a year and a half and we are surrounded by all the urban things we wanted. We can easily walk to shopping, food, drink and a huge lovely lake. We are just looking outside our fishbowl and future possibilities, should the need arise to make a change.aquarium-156725_1280

What we discovered is that there are different types of retirement communities. Some are very happy, with a positive vibe, and feature resort-type living. Others simply feel like someplace you go to die, in other words, lifeless. The important part of the looking was to demonstrate that, no way in hell, are we ready for this. But there is nothing wrong in the looking. It’s like trying on swimsuits. Some of them make your a$$ look huge. Others painfully squash your boobs. And then there is that one-in-twenty that look downright awesome. That’s when you know that it is right.

So thank you, Nemo, for showing us that our fishbowls can and should change.

Act Your Age

Photos Courtesy of Pixabay

How many times in your life have you heard this?  Add that to the prevailing attitude of retaining your youth and it is no wonder we don’t know how to act.

There are aspects to both of these that have truth.  To live your best life, you should adopt an attitude of joyful exuberance in whatever stage of life you are in.  Joyful exuberance is happiness and acceptance of self no matter your age.

Trouble comes when we get stuck on a particular number or phase in our life.  Have you ever noticed people, maybe you are one of them, who constantly talk about your teenage or college years as though that is all there is or will ever be?  I’m not a psychotherapist nor profess to be one.  These are things I have learned in my own healing journey or observed in others.  I believe that when we get stuck in a particular time frame of our life is the point where we have experienced some level of trauma or loss of self.

I once worked with a woman close in age to me, who constantly talked about her teenage years and her ex-husband/boyfriend-at-that-time.  Even her appearance reflected that of a teenager.  I especially noticed her liberal use of super-shiny, super-sticky lip gloss.  I use lip gloss, but her use was similar to that of young teens.  She rarely ever spoke of her present life, except to complain about her three children and all the troubles they were in.  She had her oldest child at nineteen and now that child was repeating the pattern.  She also went to school with her youngest child just to make sure the kid would go!  What trauma and life-changing event occurred in her teenage years that put a hold on her life growth?

Where do you find yourself stuck?  What time in your life seems all-encompassing and your last best years?  There is so much in your life that you are missing out on by keeping yourself stuck in the past.  Your present life is what is important as it is where you create your best future.  Stop being stuck.  Heal your past, make friends with it and put it behind you.  Find the self within you that you stopped being.  Reinvent who you are.  Adopt the attitude of joyful exuberance.

And act your age.  Whatever that is.

Noteworthy news: Older women being featured on style magazine covers is rapidly growing.  Check out some of these beauties: Maye Musk (Elon’s mommy); street style babes Lyn Slater and Sarah Jane Adams; former Playboy Bunny Dorrie Jacobsen; and the grande dame of all, Iris Apfel.  There are countless others being added to the influx of fabulous older women.  The fashion industry is finally taking note that beauty has no limits.  Rock on!

Finding My Heming-way

typewriter-2794560_1280Do I think I’m another Hemingway? HA!  Nor do I think I would want to be He.  For all his greatness, he lived a troubled life.  (Well, maybe in that aspect I’m like him.)  I read something that he stated the likes of “he would go crazy if he couldn’t write”.  I know that’s not a direct quote, but you get the idea.  I know what he means; I, too, crave the need to write.

I never thought that I would be a writer.  I have always been creative and have the need to do something with that.  I took journalism in high school and I envied the “photags”, the kids who went around capturing moments in 35mm.  But it never occurred to me to do something with that.  I wanted to be an interior decorator, which also didn’t happen.  Now I work for the government doing financial work.  Guess there’s some level of creativity in that. LOL

I started this blog for something to keep me occupied as I transition into retirement.  I knew I needed a creative outlet that didn’t result in a bunch of stuff in storage containers.  I had been down the writing road before; trying my hand at romance writing.  Tough market to publish in so I let it go.  Still it tugged at me and recently I had been noticing many blogs by older women.  Hmmm.  And thus, Loving Your Sh*t was born.

It has now evolved into a passion.  And growing, as I have started a book.  But it has given me a greater realization in that we all NEED a passion to keep us growing and excited about life.  Too many people sit around wasting their brains on electronic devices or silly television shows and medicate their dissatisfaction with drugs, alcohol or food.  (Hemingway was also an alcoholic.)  Maybe they once had a passion and then allowed someone or something to “school” them out of it.  That is when it is time to dig deep.

What makes you feel alive?  Maybe even what makes you “bleed”.  Reach down into your soul and find what it is that calls you to create.  Creativity is not limited to something artistic.  And when you find it, commit to it.  I’ve committed myself to two blog articles a week and two nights a week on my book [errr, manuscript in proper terms].  Don’t let anyone tear down your dream.

Reach deep and find your inner Heming-way.

Resolutions or Revolution?

fireworks-2223570_1280It’s that time of the year when everyone starts to make New Year’s Resolutions. We set some goals or accomplishments and a completion date. Too often they are limited in purpose or too restricted in a period of time and end up being ditched by the end of February. Or maybe we just get too damned cold and sick of eating green salad, and dive into that plate of lasagna just to get some heat in our body. I know this part applies to those of us in the northern hemisphere, but I think winter is a pretty sh*tty time to make resolutions.

It seems to me that the very word: resolution, has a negative sound to it. I think “resolve”, as in I resolve to doing this. . .Thing. The dictionary’s definition of the verb is: settle or find a solution to. “Settle”??? Sounds damned depressing to me.

What about changing a resolution into something that gets you excited? Instead of the new year, why not start July 4th and make it a Revolution? Seems fitting for Americans who understand this holiday. The dictionary’s definition of the noun is: a dramatic and wide-reaching change in the way something works or is organized or in people’s ideas about it.

Now doesn’t that get you excited?  Wide-reaching change? Something like, “I’m gonna go all revolution on the crap I eat”.  I don’t know about you, but that sounds empowering. And it sounds like something that you could stick with and turn into a daily habit. When have you ever heard about a revolution that was over in a week? Those things usually go on for years and have affected great change. (I know, they are often destructive, but wouldn’t you like to go all destructive on your beer gut?)

“You say you want a revolution. . . “

Visions of Sugar Plums

zimtstern-3012712_1920What are Sugar Plums anyway?  Oval-shaped, sugar-coated candies usually with something inside.  Peanut M&Ms maybe?  This time of year they are in abundance.

I’ve been indulging a bit in sugar plums, well to be honest, cookies and a little bread. Kind of on the level of “breaking bad”.  And learned some new reasons why I quit eating them.  SIGH.  I’ll get to that in a bit.  Earlier this year, I decided to quit eating wheat.  Just a personal decision fueled by my readings about Frankenwheat, my term for genetically modified grains.  A little frightening, really.  Can we just have some real earth-produced food without a bunch of chemicals?

And then there is SUGAR, the main ingredient in sugar plums.  Oh how we can’t live without it.  More addictive than Meth, I’m thinking.  But again, how did we go from a cane sugar plant to melting corn into fructose?  I know we all have to die someday, but I’d like it to be from natural causes and not some chemical-driven un-named illness that makes my joints hurt and my tongue swell.  And requires a bunch of new chemicals to “fix it”.

What I have now learned is that first of all, I got “puffy”.  Not Pillsbury Dough Boy puffy, but more like a down coat.  My understanding is that wheat and sugar hold toxins in your cells.  Ewww.  Secondly, my joints hurt like a low-grade virus or arthritis.  Hmm, not liking that at all.  But the most notable side effect of the return to wheat is: note this older ladies – NUCLEAR HOT FLASHES.  I never made the correlation to this when I quit eating wheat, but they really lessened for me – enough to quit taking herbal supplements. And now with my cookie overdose, flames burning off my skin.  Time to ditch the grains and get back to eating veggies, fruits and good fats.

Wonder if you can make an avocado cookie?