I know there is a song somewhere in there, but it doesn’t get me down. It is Monday and a no work day for me. It is lovely being at home and I have decided to make this a restful day. I’m doing some things just for me, but I don’t feel like they are work.
We live in a non-stop world. Everything is delivered to us almost immediately, whether it is technology or actual items. This creates a reactive energy within us and makes us feel as though we need to respond to or do everything right now. I wouldn’t give all that technology back, but it would be nice to change our behavior to one of thoughtful response. Not everything is a heart attack waiting to happen, although the constant stress could bring one about.
I have been away from work for several days and don’t return until Thursday. I’m using up some of my vacation time prior to my last day in February. It has been interesting to say the least. The first two days were spent in gotta-do-everything-right-now mode, and the next two I-want-to-veg-like-a-couch-potato. Pretty normal behavior, I’m thinking. What I find most interesting is the emotional roller-coaster that is going along with it.
I suppose that going through retirement is much like the stages of grief. I have experienced the feeling that I’m never going to reach the actual day, and along with that, old anger and resentments of events that I have experienced. I think that is very healthy, so I am just letting them ooze up and out. It helps to understand where I didn’t have good boundaries, so I am forgiving myself for not honoring me. Then there is the jubilance bubbling up and filling me with joy that I am moving forward into a future where I am living on my schedule and not someone else’s. In between are thoughts about money and having enough. I don’t think that has an answer, because we don’t know how long we’ll live or what we will need. It is a matter of looking at all possible sources and using them wisely over a projected time frame. With the understanding that you may need to adjust.
I also think of what to do to fill my days. I have numerous activities on my list and I am doing one of them right now. Afterwards, I am getting on the treadmill for some exercise. I have concluded that boredom is basically unexpended energy so movement of some sort will get you to a restful state. And then having a lazy day to read a book or work a jigsaw puzzle is just the ticket to release stress.
And that will never get me down.