Many of us have been taught that “if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all”. At the same time, spewing nasty, foul, never-to-be-taken-back, words of hate is not the way to go either. But like the pressure relief valve on a water heater, you have to let out some of the heat or you will blow up. And like the water heater, you don’t want to become a missile and go through your roof, or at worst someone’s head.
If someone offends you or steps on your toes, holding back your comments does neither of you any good. First, you just taught them that it is okay to be unkind to you. Second, you just deposit resentment energy in your body. And we all know what that does. (Create dis-ease, if you didn’t know.) You need to respond immediately and tell the person that you didn’t like what they said or did. Screaming at the top of your lungs is not necessary, unless they physically hurt you, and then maybe you need to deck them in return. Just kidding. An eye for eye isn’t always the best strategy either. Sometimes that gets you a free ticket to jail. A very simple “please do not talk to me like that”, is often all that needs to be said.
It’s not always easy to respond quickly. Sometimes we are caught off guard, with the “I can’t believe what I just heard” thought delay. And then it seems like the moment is lost. Sometimes a lifetime of being treated as though you don’t matter keeps your voice silent. Resentment begins to build in your body like a water heater on full throttle. It is times like that when you need to find a safe zone to let off some steam. Some people do well with releasing anger through physical exercise. Others need to vent to a friend. Whatever is your preferred method, use it.
When you release your anger, it subsides and you are able to look at the situation more clearly. You will give yourself the opportunity to replay it in your mind and develop a new response to future situations. Practice what you would say if it happens again. If it is a situation or a person that can never be resolved, share your feelings with a trusted friend. Venting is healthy. Wallowing in it is not, because that is with the intention that you don’t want to resolve it in any way. Venting releases the toxic anger that could cause you illness or erupt in harm to something or someone.
Heat-seeking missiles cause destruction and you don’t forever want to be known as a nuke.