Are you one of those people (like me) who continuously feel responsible for everyone and everything? It gets to be exhausting, not to mention it just pisses you off when other people blissfully let you do their work. You get on this endless treadmill of work-work-work and you never seem to have any time for yourself. But you do have time by yourself, you are on that treadmill alone. How do you get off?
Maybe you don’t really want to.
You have the power, after all. You are calling the shots, and yes, it is controlling and enabling. But none of this really makes you a terrible person. There are often deep-seated reasons for your actions.
Behind control lives fear. You have fear and anxiety of what might happen if you don’t keep control. You like, no Need, your environment to be a certain way. People who have experienced trauma, especially childhood trauma, often use control as a coping mechanism to avoid repeating the trauma. If you do things to make your environment safe, or take on other people’s responsibilities to keep you safe, then somehow this translates to not repeating the event or issue.
But you will never feel safe until you give up control to the Universe to guide the outcome.
Another aspect of controlling actions is energetic sensitivity. Maybe you perform the duties of others just to avoid being around them. You know, that crabby complaining-about-everything person you have to work with. You’ll do anything to keep them away. Or the flip side, an under-performer who is a really awesome person and you don’t want them to get fired. Neither of which serves them or you. You are just an energetic sponge.
How do you protect yourself from this stuff?
First of all, you must let people be responsible for their own stuff. How will they ever learn to be self-sufficient and thoughtful of others if you continue to interfere with their life lessons? You are here for your own, why heap their pile on top? Stop enabling and suffer through the outcome. The reality is that it is never as bad as you imagined. Sometimes those people really pull through and just surprise the hell out of you.
Secondly, deal with the trauma. You will never heal if you don’t.
Anxiety is just obsessing over an unknown future. You could get hit by a truck tomorrow and it will be all over and look what you missed out on. If you focus on the now and doing whatever you need to do in the now, the future will become the now. Practice grounding. Grounding into the Earth keeps you connected in the now. Create an energetic boundary. Imagine yourself completely surrounded by an egg-shaped light. It should be about three feet outside your body. Imagine that it is impenetrable except for only love-based energy, which flows in and out. Know that you are safe and secure inside this light. This is great protection for the energy sensitive.
And know without a doubt, if you ask, the Universe will keep you safe and give you red-flag warnings of action steps that keep you safe. The Universe will also provide you with the best possible outcome for your highest good.
Me, I’m thinking of getting a droid. Sort of a clone of myself. I’m going to program it with all the nonsensical, enabling, controlling behaviors that rule my inner world. Then I’m going to lie down on the sofa, take a nap, and dream up ways to make my world lesson free.