Recently, at work, the subject of dress code has surfaced again. We have a new director, and he is getting his feet wet in all areas of the business. After initiating the topic of shoes, he wisely turned the dress code idea over to a team of women. Women police each other, after all.
Many a man, to his everlasting regret, has ventured in to the female shoe closet thinking to discuss the quantity, cost, necessity, appropriateness and style of female footwear. Many of them wisely retreated when they notice the squinty eyeball staring back at them. A brave few thought to continue the topic, and then determined that there is a fine line between brave and dumb. Some hearty souls continued on, and were grateful that the living room sofa was a comfortable place to sleep. And some were never heard from again.
The only men who can safely traverse the domain of the female shoe are those of a “different persuasion”, or the Great Oz of Shoes himself: Mr. Manolo Blahnik. Should Mr. Blahnik ever appear in a woman’s shoe closet, especially if he were bearing gifts, she could succumb to a heart attack at that very moment and consider her life complete.
Shoes represent the Holy Grail to women. They are the ultimate form of self-expression. We willingly spend thousands of dollars for coveted pairs, suffer untold agony and blisters for a few hours of wearing a spindly high needle for the praise of a friend or stranger. Women have made new friends over a pair of shoes.
A beautiful pair of shoes can brighten a woman’s day. Knowing that pain could come later, she will still step out proudly and with confidence that she can kick a$$. An ugly pair. . .well, can make a woman feel ugly. They are the equivalent of Superman’s kryptonite. A necessity, if you will.
Oh and if you are available, Mr. Blahnik, my closet is open. . . size 7, if you please.