I Am Not Beige Yet

Beige sounds so. . .drab.  Like walking into a newly built home in a suburban sprawl neighborhood and everything is the same color.  Did somebody just throw up?

I prefer Nude.  Sounds much sexier, don’t you think?  Nude stockings, nude heels, nude lingerie.  Like you are walking around naked, but covered.  Just not recommended for public appearances.

I have often noticed that when you are in a department store, you can always tell the section that they seem to dedicate to older women because everything is either beige or plum.  Now I love plum, but beige?  Is that so the older woman can blend into the house paint?  “We have this pant suit in Benjamin-f*cking-Moore Desert Sand, would you like to try it on?”  Now, no offense to Benjamin Moore, they brew up some fabulous paint in delicious colors.  They should make fabric too.

If your closet is filled to the brim with beige it might be time to weed it out.  Why are you trying to hide yourself?  Don’t you see a beautiful woman looking back at you in the mirror?  Love those wrinkles and gray hair.  Change them up if you are so inclined.  Hair color is really good and inexpensive – who says you can’t go blonde at 60?  Then march your blonde self right back into that department store and tell the snippy sales person that you want that pant suit in flaming red!

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