You know them. They lived across the alley behind you when you were a kid and their entire existence was devoted to making you feel bad.
Blame’s game (I rhymed!) was to make you point your bony little finger at every person that made you feel bad and make it all Their fault. Shame’s claim to fame was name-calling. Namely you. You know the words: stupid, ugly, fat, skinny, short, slut, lazy, the list goes on. And you are carrying that same sh*t with you today. It is time to tell them b*tches to take a hike!
Blaming just keeps you tied to that person forever. Everyone says to forgive. You think you can’t. There is nothing in forgiveness that says what that person did is acceptable. Forgiveness is deciding that it is not worth your time to hold onto those feelings. Do you really think they feel bad? No. They did not feel bad when they did whatever they did to you so why would that change? Holding onto the blame is never going to change anything. All it does it keep you from moving onto to better things. It is time to let that sh*t go. Imagine that you are holding a flaming sword. Cut that string that ties you together. Burn it. And move on.
Shaming is just nasty words you say to yourself. Why? Don’t you know you are a wonderful, beautiful person? The Creator put you here in human perfection. The Creator ain’t no f*ck-up so why would you think You are? You are worthy and deserving of a wonderful life. Start by telling yourself that. Look in the mirror and say: “I Am Total Awesome-ness”. Don’t laugh. YES. YOU. ARE. By doing this every day, you train your brain to think this way. And then you get an even better benefit – other people will recognize this and treat you like you treat yourself. Bonus!
BTW, Blame and Shame left the country.