Bring Me A Higher Love

i-love-myself-417267_640Self-love can be difficult to attain. By design, we are flawed human beings learning to navigate through life and find what lurks within our soul. We, too often, waste a lot of unnecessary effort comparing ourselves to someone or something instead of accepting our humanness.

Being human is about learning after all.

What is self-love? Basically, I believe it is caring about and for yourself without any judgements. You are not like anyone else nor should you expect to be. Caring for yourself can take many forms: rest, nourishment, play, inquisitiveness, creativity, rewards, connections, just to name a few. When you feel bad, you are not caring for yourself. If someone else makes you feel bad, you are not caring for yourself. And I’m not talking about criminal activities or being an a$$hole. That is not caring for yourself either.

Many of us have been damaged during our childhood. Neglect, abuse, bullying, these can cause tremendous psychological damage and create a belief in low self-worth. It is often difficult to overcome these early mind-f*cks and believe that you are lovable.

The path to self-love is through a Higher path. Whatever your belief or religious system, find a way to connect to the Universe. All-encompassing, All-knowing and just plain unconditional loving, it is there you will find what true love for yourself means.

The Universe doesn’t care what you’ve experienced. It doesn’t care your color, gender, race or any other preference. After all, the Universe made you. You came from pure Love. You came here because the Universe wanted you. Doesn’t matter what your parents think. The Universe put you here as a pure, loving extension of Itself.

Wow. And all this time you thought you weren’t all that. In the mind of the Universe, You are everything.

Now tell me again why you don’t think you are lovable.

No Means No

say-no-3218695_640How often do you get talked out of your No response when someone asks you for something? Maybe it’s a cute little face begging for another cookie. Relatively harmless unless it’s right before dinner. Maybe it’s a friend enthusiastically convincing you that you should run one more mile with them to earn that margarita after.

Maybe it’s not so harmless when a coworker pleads with you to cover for them on Friday, for the 5th Friday in a row. Maybe it’s a family member asking for rent money, again, when you know they just went on a vacation in Tulum and the month before was because they bought a new car.

Maybe it’s worse, when a first date turns aggressive over pressure for sex. Or you are threatened with a firing if you don’t alter some important documents.

hand-155662_640The pressure to do something you don’t want to do can take many forms. People might try to make you think something is “good for you” or “your life will be better” or “you will help someone out”. If something causes discomfort or harm to your body, money or property you have the right to say No to any demands upon them. Your body belongs to you and you get to decide what to do with it. Not your spouse. Not your parents. Not your preacher. If your money or property is shared with others, you still have the right to say what should be done with your share.

We all have the free will to make choices. We are responsible for the choices we make,cyber-bullying-122156_640 but we are not responsible for the choices that others make. An underage child, perhaps, if they are under your care. My intent with the responsibility statement is that we are not fixers of someone else’s poor choices. No one should pressure, bully or threaten you to do something you don’t want to do. Bullies know who they can “get”. Don’t give them the opportunity – just don’t be there. You don’t have to be aggressive. Be a brick wall and stand firm. Seek help if you need someone to back you up.

The more you practice saying “No” to small things, the easier it is to say “No” to big things. People will learn you mean what you say and they won’t bother you anymore.

Except maybe for another cookie.

Tell Me Something Good

a-3308712_640Our local classic rock station just started a weekly segment by this same name. Their purpose was to dispel some of the negativity that is so pervasive everywhere. There is so much anger, hate, violence and just downright meanness that it is very difficult to come up with something good.

Has the entire planet gone bat-sh*t crazy?!

Nothing quite like the media to hype everything up, but it seems like the only thing we have to cheer us up is daffodils blooming. And we know how long those last. So many things are being revealed on a daily basis. Me Too, school shootings, missile attacks, child abuse and fatalities, homeless people, opioid crisis. . .when does it stop?

Think of it this way: evening rolls around and the sun dips below the horizon and it is nighttime. Dark. The darkness can feel like a very scary time to many people. I guess that is why we go to sleep. A time to rest and clear our minds. To let go of the difficulties of the day and dream of peaceful times. Nighttime is for healing. Your body knows how to rejuvenate itself. When we are rested, we wake up and usually the sun is coming up. We are back to light. The sun always comes up. The Light always returns. The sun shines, trees grow, flowers blossom, nature feeds itself and so do we.

These dark and difficult times are necessary. What if all those things we hear about had stayed hidden? And grew and grew. How awful could it become? Horrible things must be revealed so that they can be changed, fixed, healed and reborn into something new and better.

Can you imagine what the world will be like when people feel safe, sheltered, fed and cared for? How will you feel? What if you could send your children or grandchildren off to school and see the excitement in their faces instead of worry and fear? What if a bar of chocolate replaced opioids, kind of like chocolate frogs in Harry Potter? (and they didn’t make us fat) What if you could have Christmas packages sitting on your front porch until you got home?

christmas-2411764_640There are no easy answers to any of these questions. How can you answer “tell me something good”? By changing your focus. They say it takes fewer muscles to frown than it does to smile. Really?! Well, then bend over. You’ll get a head rush in the process so you’ll feel giddy. That will cause you to laugh and then you’ll think of something funny. Maybe when you bend over you’ll bust the seam on your pants and you’ll get the giggles. Then you’ll look in your closet and find one of those “Men”, as I’ve written of, and you’ll preen in the mirror a bit. Some killer shoes and the next thing you know you’ll be strutting out the door and off to do something. Someone will catch your smile and return it. Their day will be brightened and someone else will benefit. And it goes on and on like an amoeba. All because you blew out your pants.

It doesn’t take some big “thing” to change your focus from bad things to something good. It doesn’t cost money. It doesn’t take much time. It doesn’t hurt.

It just takes a smile. So tell me something good.

The Day The Music Died

53130451[1]Last week when I was in Target, I found this cute little hat with Sgt Pepper patches on it. I bought it, of course, but it took me back to my teen years and listening to the album until I knew every word by heart. The album, Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, was released May 26, 1967. I didn’t get interested in it until about seven years later.

Some say that when John Lennon was killed on December 8, 1980, the music died. However, we know that Don MacLean’s 1971 hit “American Pie” was intended to be about the plane crash that took Buddy Holly, Ritchie Valens and The Big Bopper on February 3, 1959.

We all have our interpretation of when the music we love met its end. For me, it was the ending of the 80s. I am a die-hard rock-n-roller and am very grateful that Denver has a classic rock station, playing songs from the 60s thru the 80s. But what has happened to rock music?wallpaper.wiki-Classic-Ac-Dc-Wallpaper-PIC-WPC003516[1]

Sorry, millennial friends, but your music sucks. We don’t need any more Pop Tarts with a wall of sound backing them up. And the hillbilly chorus line. . .that’s just awful. Apologies again, but where are the rockers?

I’ve written about this many times, but I think people are rotting their brains with electronic devices. I don’t see an ounce of creativity in anyone anymore. Graffiti artists, maybe. Most of creative effort I see these days is doing the same thing over again. There is no desire to be innovative. Hell, there is no desire to work. And playing in a band takes work. Serious work and serious on the road travel to make it. I suppose the record companies (do they even call them that anymore?) have something to do with it. It is all about making money after all.

Most people seem to be moving through life in a daze, just getting by, rushing thru everything with too much technology and sucking down coffee. (I love coffee, too.) But no one FEELS. You have to feel to create. You have to bleed out of your soul to bring to life beautiful artistry, music, design, and words.

Most people are afraid to feel.

If you look back at music, many of the musicians struggled. They lived in vans and ate cheese sandwiches. Yes, I know they drank or did drugs too. Some things never change. But they weren’t afraid to pour out their life into guitar, drum and keyboard.

So I am tossing out this challenge to the musically – talented: I double-dog dare you to open your heart and pour it into some earth-shaking rock. Just so I can feel it again.

I Have To Grow Older, In Order To Get Younger

water-fight-442257_640I grew up as a miniature adult. The product of a teenage pregnancy, my father had little to do with me, and my mother was just angry that her life was ruined. I spent the first twelve years living with my grandparents.

Being mostly unwanted, I learned very early that I needed to take care of myself. I grew up on a farm in rural Iowa and started to have chores at an early age. I was old from an early age.

I will be 58 years old in a few months and planning my work retirement at 59 1/2. I’ve spent nearly my entire life working and am not planning on a new career. I have realized it is time to have my childhood. Oh, I don’t mean to suddenly become helpless and let someone take care of everything. I’m just not wired that way.

It is time to Play.

I’m not even sure I know how to do that. What?! Seriously?! Maybe I should say that I don’t know what play is for an adult. I guess I could think about it as the opposite of work. Aside from necessary activities for your existence, Work is doing something for someone on their time schedule with the expectation of something in return, as in wages. Wages are good and if you’ve saved enough of them you get to retire and still get them in a different form. So then Play would be doing something for yourself on your time schedule with the expectation of something in return. . . such as freedom and relaxation.

But can you only get that with Play?

Not necessarily. I think it is all about your experiences and perception. I think if you love what you do, and maybe you work for yourself, you can experience freedom and happiness. I believe it is all in how you invent your life.

toys-3200971_640My thoughts are full of these things as I start my transition. I’m tired of the grind and the stress. Many work environments are getting more faster-paced and more technology. The push to do more and more often is wearing on people. I am experiencing a great deal of that in my workplace. I come home tired and then go to bed a few hours later just to start it all over again. I’m getting past the point of even enjoying what I do.

I am ready for Play.

I constantly think about what I enjoy and how I want to incorporate all of that in my life. I am quite certain you will see many more of my blog posts. I look forward to daily exercise. Since I live so close to a lake, I hope to walk around it quite often. I love Pilates so that will be in my daily routine. Reading has always been my escape and relaxation so I will be able to settle in with a good book. I’ll make friends again with the local libraries. And to actually have time to watch a movie. And so on.  Sigh. I guess I don’t really worry or wonder what I’ll do every day.

I think it is just time to go Play!

Let’s Get Rocked!

gems-1405998_640I love me some Def Leppard. And I love me some Mother Earth for providing me with my other favorite rock: crystals. Aside from being nature’s jewels, crystals are lovely to wear and are Divinely created healing tools. If you are attuned to such things you can feel their vibrations when you hold them in your hands.

Crystals and stones come in many shapes, sizes, colors and geological forms. They have different vibrations and different metaphysical properties. They can be programmed to send or receive energy. You can wear them, carry them, or place them in strategic places. So much power can be contained in one small bit of earth.

I like holding them during meditation or if I need a bit of a psychic boost. I have an array nestled in various places all through my house.

rock-crystal-1603480_640Clear quartz crystal is one of the most basic, yet powerful stones. You can program, or set the intention of its purpose, by holding it in your hand. It can send or receive. It is often used as a healing stone. I have a sphere, and OMFG! is it powerful! I can literally cleanse the energy in a room in minutes just by holding it in my hand. It has a strong connection to the Council of Light and whenever I need some extra guidance I use my crystal to connect to Them.

rose-quartz-422715_640Rose quartz is a crystal of necessity. It is associated with unconditional love and will help you to open your heart. Place it under your pillow for sweet dreams and boosting your self-love.

stone-3190526_640Amethyst is beautiful in jewelry. It is also very helpful in awakening your intuition and it is a protective stone.

obsidian-505332_640If you often feel spacey, try hematite, obsidian or black onyx to help you get grounded.

Malachite will help you to find emotional blocks held within you and release them.malachite-2775996_640

These are some basic stones to work with. Unsure of what to get? Find a metaphysical store or a rock shop. Walk around and look at the stones. What attracts your attention? That is most likely the stone that you need. Pick it up and hold it in your hand. Does it vibrate? Is there a temperature change? The stone is connecting with your energy. Remember to cleanse your stones after purchase and then on a regular basis to release any held energy. Most stones and crystals can be cleansed by holding them under running water and visualizing the negativity going down the drain and then placing them in sunlight. I keep many of mine on the windowsills so they are constantly vibrating at full power.

Remember to thank Mother Earth as she gives us Love in the form of crystals.

Spring Fever

grass-3249879_640Happy, yellow faces of daffodils are poking out everywhere. Trees are developing buds. Tulips are pushing upwards from the dead, brown turf. Nest sitting birds are chirping. New life is working its way up from the dormant earth to create beauty and welcome to warm weather.

Spring can be volatile in Colorado. You don’t know from one day (hell, one minute!) to the next what weather you will experience. We’ve had some 70 degree days this March, but it’s not out of the question to get a heavy, wet snowstorm in May. Last May, we had a record-setting hailstorm that had auto dealerships in tears and closed Colorado Mills Mall for months.

Springtime has always been emotionally difficult for me. It’s quite often a time when I want to make a severe change. I don’t usually, but I’m literally itching out of my skin. I can only guess that because I am an empath, all of nature’s renewal puts out such powerful energy that I am affected by that.

Or maybe it is just Spring Fever.

I can’t wait for all my flowers to show their faces. We spent an enormous amount of time transforming the front yard from grass to colorful beauty. Last summer just knocked our socks off with all the growth. Just sitting outside looking at it all was so peaceful and relaxing. We added quite a few new things last fall so I can’t wait to see what they will do. Got some black tulips in the bunch so I’m really looking forward to them.

DSCN1476Springtime is for planting, whether it is for actual seeds or bold, new ideas. It is the time to set your intentions of what you would like to see in your life. It is a time of hope, and certainly a time of change. But something will grow, whether you plan it or not. If you didn’t do anything to your yard, nature will do it for you. Her definition of beauty might not be the same as yours. She is just as happy to give you a weed bed. Life can also give you a weed bed if you don’t tend to it properly.

So what are you going to plant in the garden of life this spring? Me? I’m planting flowers.

Who Moved My Cheese

miniature-figures-2938521_640You may have read or at least heard of the book “Who Moved My Cheese” by Spencer Johnson M.D. (G.P. Putnam’s Sons, September 8, 1998). It’s a story about Mice who spend their days scurrying through the Maze to find Cheese. It’s a metaphor for people, in that Cheese represents something they want in life. But mostly it’s about change and the different ways of dealing with it.

Some people thrive on change. Others, not so much. Some resist it to the last.

Change of some sort is inevitable. We’re human, so we age and aging brings change. Buildings go up, get old and they change. It’s not possible to resist all change. Or as the Borg say “Resistance is futile. You will be assimilated.”

Sometimes change is unexpected or we have no control over it. Loss of life or limb, a debilitating injury or illness, natural disaster, those things can slam us to the ground without warning. And you just have to deal with it. These are moldy cheeses and some people just scrape the mold off and eat it anyway.cheese-3081046_640

Some changes come with a price tag. Divorce, loss of income, incarceration – to name a few. They are based upon choice, even if you think it is unwilling. Kind of like stinky Limberger cheese.

Other changes are pressed upon you and you must choose to accept them or not. Corporate mergers, company buyouts, workplace changes, moving back to your home town to care for aging parents. Holy, moly, it’s Swiss cheese!

Whether you know it or not, at the time, all of those kinds of changes can result in something better for you. It’s all in how you view them. Or maybe you make cheesecake. Who doesn’t like that?

And then there are changes you choose, because you want them. Getting married, having a baby, changing to a better job, buying a home. Cream cheese on a bagel! Add coffee and start your day with breakfast.

In the Cheese story, the mice were running out of cheese. Some of the mice took off to find more cheese and never came back. Others were going to stay because they didn’t believe the cheese was running out. But a few of those mice went looking for more cheese, found it, and came back to tell the rest of the mice. Proof positive that change can be good.animal-1238983_640

What does your cheese look like? Are you running out? Are you willing to make changes to have more cheese? Or do you have plenty of cheese, but are carefully doling it out so it lasts? Or are you waiting for someone else to take care of your cheese?

Change will come. You might want to get out the crackers.

Knock – Knock – Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door

This is not an article about death, Bob Dylan, or Guns-n-Roses for that matter. Although I like the G&R version of the song.clouds-429228_640

Knocking on Heaven’s door is about connecting with the Universe. What does that mean exactly? Everyone has their own take on that, but for me, it is from a spiritual perspective. If you’ve read my writing, you know I use swear words. It’s how I talk, and it does get your attention. It doesn’t seem to fit with spirituality, but I think it points to the reality of it.

To me, spirituality is the down-in-the-dirt, daily life of belief. As much as would wish otherwise, life isn’t the sunshine and rainbows and manifesting everything we want version of spirituality. Human life is messy, and sometimes we get handed a big pile of sh*t that makes us swear the air blue. That’s reality.

I believe we come here to grow our spirit and ultimately, Spirit. When we are born, we conveniently forget that we were created by the Universe, full of love and knowingness. We have to forget or we wouldn’t be able to grow. Babies and small children retain some of that connection for a bit, and then it is lost.

Part of our purpose is to re-establish that connection so we can grow our human spirit. How do we do this? I think the first step is to believe in the Universe or something greater than ourselves. Secondly, talk to the Universe. (You can apply any name to the Universe as you wish.) Ask for help. Listen to and follow the guidance you receive. This paves the way to a more peaceful life.yoga-2176668_640

Another great method to really connect with the Universe is through meditation. Meditation is really nothing more than being quietly present in the moment and opening your mind and heart to the messages you receive. You can make it a formal ritual with candles, incense, breathing or whatever is meaningful to you. You can go for a walk in nature and connect with the Spirits of Nature. Many people say they can’t quiet their mind, that all these thoughts come rolling in. That’s normal and there is nothing wrong with that. Let them roll through your head without really focusing on any one of them or pushing them out. After all, there could be messages within them that you are meant to hear.

How do you know that the messages are real or from the Universe? Anything in Spirit’s form is going to be positive. The messages will be consistent and repetitive, without being “gotta-do-this-right-now!” (unless it is life-saving). Anything negative or extremely urging you is your Ego trying to prevent you from connecting to Spirit, as the Ego loves being in charge. The more you connect with the Universe, the meaner the Ego gets in trying to keep you away. Tuck it behind your ear and tell it that you don’t need it right now.

Because you are too busy Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door.

I Showed Up

work-47200_640Have you noticed the increasing lack of empathy, courtesy and service amongst people around you? No one seems to care. No one wants to put out any effort. And there is an enormous amount of entitlement going around.

Whatever happened to good old-fashioned work and attention?

You need a service call for some equipment that isn’t working properly. If you can get someone to answer the phone, they don’t really give a sh*t about your problem. “When the guy gets out of bed, he can be at your house sometime between 10:30 am and 4:00 pm.” And then usually shows up at 4:05. If you are working or have family responsibilities, that just screws up your whole day. Especially when the guy says he doesn’t have the right part and will have to come back next week, but it might not be him ‘cause his day off is Tuesday and that’s when the part comes in.

WTF?!!!

You are in the checkout lane, waiting, because two of the clerks are having a party over their cell phones.

office-620823_640The employee that strolls in at 9:00, goes into a meeting to get their daily coffee and bagel fix, checks email at their desk, wanders around the building chatting with the other slackers, leaves for lunch, goes to the gym, comes back at 3:00 and has to leave early. Remember the “Merry Old Land of Oz” song? Those same people come in with their newly minted $200k college degree expecting the top of the salary range too.

The neighbor who thinks grass will mow itself. Or driveways are to park their car – permanently.

What is wrong with people? Are we supposed to BOW because You Showed Up?

cashier-1791106_640I can only speculate that it is because peoples’ lives have become meaningless. I’m all for technology and innovation, but it is too often used as an excuse not to do anything. Directionless, meaningless, uselessness. Translates as a Totally F*cking Boring Existence. No wonder so many people are doing drugs. We are getting dumber by the hour.

Start small. When you wake up in the morning, give yourself a goal. What one thing can I do to bring a smile to someone else? One smile will lead to another and you’ll feel so good that every day will be about being in service.

And you won’t Just Show Up.